History Repeating - Part II
by Leslie Emm
Summary: Set 14 years after part I. It was suggested I write another fic around the AU I have written At your door and life at the one-two in, so this does that too.
1. Prologue

**History repeating – Part II**

_Ok, this is part II of History Repeating. The prologue is long but needed, so don't worry, all chapters won't be essays! I hope you enjoy where I am taking this...:) As Mac would say – everything is connected...(even AU fanfics :) ) This one starts after At your door/life at the one-two, about 6 months later and contains the same OC's. All recognisable characters are CBS and not mine. _

Prologue – 14 years later

"What's that?" Kate Flack asked, sneaking her head onto her husbands shoulder as he sat on the sofa.

Don gave her a glare and shuffled away, huffing.

"Oh good" she grinned brightly "The silent treatment"

He gave her a look that clearly said 'Ya think?!'

"Come on" she wheedled "I'm sorry"

"Hmmm" he responded, finding himself up against the arm of the sofa as she closed in again.

"I really am"

He continued to ignore her as she ducked under his arm with a cheeky grin and laid her head on his chest.

"I know you loved that shirt, but it literally fell apart" she told him with appealing eyes.

"Humph" he replied, lifting his arm higher to concentrate on the newspaper.

"I'll make it up to you" she said seductively, sighing when she got no response.

"Is that a cross word?" she asked finally "I didn't know you'd started doing cross words"

"You're too busy throwing away my favourite clothes" he muttered.

She stifled a laugh "Which one are you stuck on? Maybe I can help?"

"Four letter word" he answered "For pain in the ass"

She frowned at him as he put his pen to the paper and made a show of writing "Oh yes, _wife_. Thanks"

"Awww don't be mad at me" she pleaded "I bought you some new ones"

"Since when do I need you to buy my clothes?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"You don't" she smiled sweetly "But..."

"It's those white ones isn't it?!" his eyes glinted with amusement "Like the one I got a few weeks ago"

"Might be" she pulled back and shrugged with nonchalance "I didn't really notice"

"Right" he snorted "I bet anythin' you like it's them white shirts, you said you liked them"

She shrugged "I do and it is" she answered "Now stop bein' so stubborn"

His face told her that he wasn't ready to give in yet so she increased her assault, resting her head on his chest again and stroking his inner thigh softly.

"I _really_ am sorry" she crooned "Honestly baby, I wouldn't have thrown it out if it could have been repaired"

"Crap" he shot back "You always hated it, and don't 'baby' me. You only say that when you want somethin' or you done somethin'"

"I didn't hate it" she grinned as he shifted in his seat, but didn't deny the rest of his accusation.

"You did" he said through clenched teeth "An' now you got your own way, _again"_

"Let me make it up to you" she urged, increasing the pressure of her hand.

"No" he snapped "You've upset me"

"Yeah, but I'm gettin' to you right now" she laughed.

"Physical reaction" he snorted "Nothing more"

"Right" she whispered "I love you"

"Uh-huh" he turned his attention back to the cross word, with difficulty.

Never patient, Kate stopped abruptly and stood up.

"Wow, your mother did warn me you could sulk" she said.

Don looked pointedly at his watch and then at Kate "I thought I'd get at least another hour of grovelling"

She climbed onto his lap snuggling her face into his neck as he chuckled "I'll grovel all you want, are you hungry?"

"Not really, just tired" he yawned "Hold that thought until tomorrow"

He lifted her from his lap by her waist and she put her feet down, pouting at him.

"I'm gonna take a shower an' go to bed" he kissed her on the cheek "'Night babe"

She watched him saunter off, folding her arms crossly.

By the time she'd locked up and got into bed herself, he was stretched out on his side away from her, he looked peaceful. With a last resentful look in his direction she got into bed and switched the lamp off.

A few moments later he turned over and an arm crept around her waist.

"Hmmmm, no pyjama's" he whispered "_Must_ be grovelling"

"Changed your mind huh?" she replied with a smile in her voice.

"Uh huh" he said, a hand sliding along her thigh "Actually, I _am_ hungry. Could use a sandwich"

He started to laugh as he felt her body tense and pinned her arm to her side with his own "Now now" he chuckled "Be nice, you're supposed to be grovelling"

"You're an asshole" she hissed, which made him laugh louder.

"Any of that cold meat left?" he asked in her ear.

"I'll shove it..." he cut her off by rolling her onto her back, pinning her hands and kissing her.

Looking up at him her expression caused him to grin wider.

"Well let me up then!" she snapped "So I can make your damned sandwich"

"I don't want one now" he kissed the side of her lips "I want something else"

"I'm not cookin'" she muttered.

"No" he agreed "You're not"

"I knew you'd give in" she was as smug as he had been "You always do"

"Only because you seduce me" he replied "And it works"

It was her turn to chuckle, relaxing she slid her arms around him "Move over then, I'll show you grovelling"

…...

Hours later Kate woke up, something was wrong but she wasn't quite sure what, and then she realised that the bed felt wet, and she was burning up. Throwing the covers back she lay for a while, trying to cool down. Getting more and more irritated with the snoring next to her.

"Don!" she finally growled "For God's sake!" he mumbled something and turned towards her, his breathing settling again.

Kate lay for ages, thinking. She was 44, she might be considered a little early for menopause, but she'd started with a few symptoms recently and it was seeming more and more likely.

Finally driven to distraction as Don started to snore deeply again she got out of bed in disgust, leaving her side covers back in the hope that they would dry off. Creeping downstairs she was wide awake, she got herself a drink and booted up the family computer.

"What are you doin'?" Kate jumped at the voice behind her, she looked guiltily at the clock, she'd been playing solitaire for over an hour.

"Can't sleep" she answered "Too hot"

He gave her an odd look "Are you sick? You _never_ get too hot"

She shrugged "Maybe, I'm OK now"

"No you're not" he folded his arms, an indication that he wasn't going to let this go "Too hot and out of bed by your own volition, I don't buy it. What's goin' on?"

"Well think about it!" she snapped, switching the computer off irritably and skirting around him to go back upstairs.

She was changing the sheets when he came back in "An' why are you doin' that?" he looked genuinely confused, and concerned.

"Because they're wet" she answered "I sweated a lot before I woke, I don't wanna sleep on wet sheets, do you?"

"No" he answered, sliding one hand over another and clicking his knuckles.

"Then quit standin' there like an idiot!" she raged as she fought with the duvet and it's cover "And help me!"

"Hey hey!" he soothed, taking the covers from her stiff grip and wrapping his arms around her "What's wrong?"

"I don't know!" she wailed, shoving at his chest.

"Well something's up" he murmured into her hair.

"Oh leave me alone!" she snapped, stalking off to the bathroom as her let go and watched her, puzzled and hurt.

"Kate?" he tried, racking his brains for something he might have done.

"I'm sorry" she turned to him "I didn't mean to take it out on you"

"OK" he said carefully "I'll sort the bed"

"I mean it" she said, biting her lip "I just feel a bit shitty, I might be coming down with something"

He stepped towards her and took a hand, seeing her eyes full of unusual tears "It's fine" he soothed.

She squeezed his hand and leaned up and kissed his cheek "You put up with so much shit from me"

He shrugged giving her a grin and hiding his concern "Someone's gotta love ya"

"Thanks" she said sadly before heading for the shower.

"Damned PMS" he shook his head wryly before turning his attention to the bed.

…...

"Mollie!"

Kate heard her husband yell at their middle child as she finished dressing, she rolled her eyes.

"Mollie! _Stop_ it! Leave you sister alone!" he shouted.

"But it's _mine_!" the childish voice retorted.

"I don't care!" he roared back "She's a _baby_!"

"I don't **like**you daddy!" Mollie retorted harshly "You're mean!"

"Yeah well right now" he answered her "I don't like **you** much either!"

Kate heard the predictable wail as she came down the stairs and knew exactly what she'd find, and she was right.

She saw Mollie in her favourite place, her fathers arms, and a look of guilt across his face.

"Of course I didn't mean it" he crooned at her "Daddy was jus' a bit cross"

"But...B..ut it's my dolly" Mollie wailed "A...And she'll b...b...break it"

"I know" he soothed "If she does, I'll buy you a new one"

"Will you?" suddenly all trace of tears were gone "The new one? That cries?"

"Yeah" he sounded muffled with his face in her hair.

"She knows exactly how to play you" Kate sniggered at him.

"She's upset" he defended with a smile.

Kate sighed "Uh-huh, what do I get if you upset me?"

"You get enough" he answered smartly.

"Tsh!" she laughed.

"Are you OK?" he asked with concern.

"I'm fine, honestly" she assured him "I musta had a nightmare or somethin' last night"

"OK" he answered "As long as you're OK"

"I am" she smiled, a happy smile.

He watched her for a second, deciding it wasn't odd for Kate to have mood swings.

He smiled back "You ready?"

"Yeah" she frowned at him "Though I have no idea why you are insisting on coming, I'm refereeing a soccer match, not actually playing myself, I haven't been back on the team long enough yet"

He shrugged, giving her a sideways look "Jus' want to"

Suddenly Kate stopped packing her bag and rounded on him, laughter coming through her words.

"I get it!" she was triumphant "I'm reffing the academy guys soccer teams, an' you jus' realised that I'll be runnin' round a pitch full of young guys?"

"No!" he said, a little too quickly "It's ages since I saw you play, I used to come all the time before you quit an' had Mollie. I thought seein' as I'm off..."

"You can dump the kids with whoever an' come make sure no young, hot rookie gets too close?" she teased "I got your number Flack"

"It's not that..." he grappled and then gave up, it was no good, he knew when he was beaten "Fine, it is that"

She laughed "You're so _possessive!"_

"What of it?" he grinned back "Anyway, I was gonna bring the kids with me, an' then we can all go out, after"

"How about" she tried "_You_ take the kids out this morning while I ref this match, an' if I can leave the young hotties alone long enough, we can all go out later, for dinner?"

He folded his arms "I don't like it"

"I know you don't" she reached up and tweaked his cheek "But it's that or you try an' control the wild child and Rosie by yourself, at the side of a soccer pitch, DJ might behave"

The thought obviously made him waver, and Kate pushed her advantage.

"I'll make it up to you" she smiled sweetly.

"You look good in shorts" it was half an compliment and half an explanation.

She laughed "Take the kids out, we'll get lunch when I get finished, and then _maybe_ you can take me out for dinner later. We could even push our luck an' see if we can get a babysitter, you know, go somewhere that has _adults only_ for a change?"

Despite Kate moving into the K9 section and now working part time, they still seemed to always manage to grab an hour here and there together. It was hard work.

"Done" he answered, the lure of a night with Kate, alone, with no tantrums from Mollie, no DJ complaining because he was bored or no Rosie throwing food about was too strong "I'll arrange a babysitter"

She smiled at him and he spontaneously smiled back.

…...

"Hey Mollie, stop kickin' my chair would ya? I'm tryn' a drive here!" Don frowned at his daughter through the rear mirror.

"Sorry Daddy" she grinned back at him, he couldn't help but smile back, she was his daughter alright, same eyes, same smile but blonde and fair.

"Hey Dad?" he glanced at his son, sitting next to him in the front seat.

"Yeah Deej?" he replied, in that flat tone most parents used when they suspected they were going to be parted from their cash.

"Can we stop off at the sports store?" he pleaded.

"What for?" Don's eyebrows shot into his hairline "Your Mom got you new sneakers last week"

"New gloves" his son informed him "Mine are gettin' tight again"

Don sighed, his son knew exactly how he worked, mention hockey and DJ could have what he wanted, and he knew it.

"OK" his father agreed "Just don't tell your Mom"

"Deal" his son gave him his own smug smile right back. Don knew the day that his own mother had discovered he was going to have a son, and gave out the curse 'I hope he's just like you', it'd come back to bite him in the ass.

"Daddy..." came a whine from the back seat, Don sighed again, he was about to kiss goodbye to more money.

"Yeah?"

"If DJ gets something, then I have to have something too, and Rosie" she told him "Mom says it's only fair, and if she does find out..."

"I know" he replied "What do you want?" he was well used to having the three women in his life manipulate him on a regular basis, he watched his daughters use the same tricks their mother did to get her own way – well some of them anyway.

"A puppy" she announced.

"I don't think so" he laughed "How are we supposed to hide another dog from your Mom? And anyway, we already have one, and when your mom gets her work dog, we'll have two"

"But Daddy" a sob came from the back seat. Great he thought, action two on the 'I will get my own way' initiative from Mollie, he melted when she cried and she knew it "I really need a puppy!"

He looked at her in the rear mirror again, big tears rolled down her cheeks, she looked like her world was ending. Big, tough, hardened New York Cop he was, he could handle this.

"Mollie don't" he pleaded, shooting a look at the baby asleep in her chair, hoping she wouldn't wake up, and join in.

"C...Can I have a pony then?" she sobbed.

Don glared at DJ as he snorted with laughter.

"A pony?" Don stalled for time.

"A white one, a nunicorn" Mollie pouted.

"Great idea Mollie! A unicorn?! Can I play with it?" DJ interjected.

"You" Don turned to him, he couldn't keep the smile off his face though "Aren't amusing, _at all_"

DJ laughed "Well" he said, reminding Don of his mother "She's bein' stupid"

"I am **not**!" Mollie raged "I want a nunicorn!"

Don sighed "I dunno if I can get you a real one" he hedged.

"Can we try?" she begged, he chanced a look in the mirror again to see her little face lit with hope.

"We'll try" he replied.

"Mom's gonna kill you" DJ chanted.

"Shut it you" Don warned with amusement "You started all this"

DJ shrugged, he knew how to get round his father too, despite adoring his mother, he knew if he wanted anything, he was far more likely to get it out of Don than Kate, Kate wasn't as easily persuaded by tears and pouting as Don was.

"I only wanted some gloves" he said slyly.

"Yeah, well now as well as the pool, we're stoppin' at the sports store an' the toy store" Don huffed.

DJ just laughed as Mollie cut in "An' the nunicorn store!"

"I think they sell them at the toy store" he told her, hoping to God they sold toy ones, the ensuing tantrum if they didn't wasn't worth thinking about.

"Today is gonna cost me a fortune isn't it?" Don grumbled, although too young to realise, he'd have to get Rosie something too, it wouldn't feel right otherwise.

"Probably" DJ grinned.

Don gave him a wounded look that made the boy laugh louder.

...

Kate raised her eyebrows as Mollie marched proudly into the house, carrying a stuffed toy in the shape of a unicorn almost as big as her.

"Whatch'ya got there?" Kate asked her.

"A nunicorn" Mollie told her "Called Snuffles"

"Oh" Kate watched her head for the garden "Why are you takin' him out there?"

Mollie gave her a look that made Kate feel slightly like an idiot "Nunicorns eat grass Mommy" she said in a tone that suggested that Kate should really already know that.

"Right" Kate frowned and turned back to the open door as DJ shot up the stairs "Hey!" she called "Where you off to in such a hurry?_"_

DJ stopped, but didn't answer, looking behind him as Don stepped into the house, holding Rosie and a large figure of a well known animated character, wearing a sheepish expression.

"You may as well show her" Don said in defeat "She'll only beat it outta me later"

DJ slumped back down the stairs and opened the bag he held, Kate rifled through it.

"Hmmm" she said "New gloves, shirt an' pads"

"Can I...?" DJ pointed to the stairs.

"Go on" she smiled, knowing he couldn't wait to try them out. She turned to Rosie as Don set her on the floor, putting her toy in front of her and setting it off. It started to make noises and bounce, getting steadily faster.

Rosie squealed with delight and tried to copy it, crawling after it along the hallway. Kate looked at Don, as he tried to avoid eye contact with her.

"I didn't know the pool sold toys an' sports equipment" she teased him.

"They ambushed me" he grumbled.

"Every time" Kate laughed "_Every_ time you take them out on your own, you end up spending a fortune"

He decided to brazen it out "They're my kids, I like spoiling them"

"Your wife wouldn't mind spoiling" she eyed the bag he hid badly behind his back.

"My wife always gets spoilt" he told her, handing her the bag with a sigh.

"Oh chocolates" she raised her eyebrows at him "And perfume"

He shrugged, mischief in his eyes "You're not _that_ bad a wife I guess" he replied "I suppose you deserve a treat now an' again, keep you sweet. I also arranged for the kids to sleep out, Mollie is goin' to stay with Sam and DJ is goin' fishing with Dad while mom plays baby with Rosie"

Kate closed the bag and looked at him, trying to decide how to respond.

"You'll pay for that later" she leaned into him "When I'm being an _amazing_ wife"

He kissed her "That a promise?"

"You bet" she grinned before kissing him back.

…...


	2. Chapter 1

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 1

"Hey" Don sauntered into the kitchen and kissed Kate on the cheek, whilst sifting through his mail.

"Hello" she replied, pre occupied with putting things away "Good day?"

"Uh" he grunted "Same shit, different day"

"Ain't it always?" she answered "Hey!" she stopped "Out!"

Rosie looked up at her from the cupboard she was ransacking with a gummy grin.

"An' don't gimme that smile" she chided gently, smiling herself, picking the baby up and handing her to Don "Go charm your father"

He put the mail down and took her, kissing all over her face as she squealed.

"You were helping weren't you?" he told the child fondly and then turned to Kate "Where's the other two?"

"Out" Kate told him from the depths of another cupboard "DJ's at hockey practice and Mollie is terrorising your sister"

Don laughed "Again?"

"Hey Sam offered" Kate laughed back "She said it's good practice"

Don's face darkened "Somethin' she wants to tell me?" he asked.

"Oh relax!" Kate laughed "Like she'd tell you anyway, she'd make _me_ do it"

"Somethin' _you_ wanna tell me then?" he grumbled.

"Sam is not pregnant" Kate said, a look of exaggerated patience on her face "And neither am I"

"Huh" he put the baby on the floor and she shuffled off under the table after an abandoned toy "Shame"

"Shame you're not gonna be an uncle?" Kate asked, shocked.

"No" he answered "_That_ I'm happy about. Shame about you"

"Another one?!" Kate's voice raised "Are you serious?!"

He laughed "No, I'm jus' screwin' with ya"

"Funny" she said, deadpan "Real funny. Don't _do_ that to me. I thought you were serious"

He laughed again, picking his mail up "We're getting' too old"

"Oh we are huh?" Kate replied "Speak for yourself"

"Well aren't you?" he teased "You're not as young as you used to be and ya know, not gettin' any younger either..."

"Thin line Flack, thin line" she warned with a grin.

"Right" he laughed, rolling his eyes "Not my fault you can't take the truth"

"Oh, so you get me pregnant, three times, _ruin_ my body, chain me to you for the best years of my life, and then when I'm almost past it, tell me I'm gettin' old?!" Kate faced him "Classy"

"Oh stop moaning" he laughed outright "You're body isn't _totally_ ruined"

"Oh wow!" she retorted "Please, no more compliments!"

He shrugged, cheeky grin plastered across his face "Stop complaining, and there's nothin' wrong with your body, you're in great shape..._considering_"

"You wanna get near it again" she said, trying to hide her smile "Stop talkin' now"

He stalked across the kitchen, catching her by the door, holding her from escaping by her hips.

"Empty threats" he said.

"We'll see" she replied haughtily.

"OK" he snorted "That particular threat has never worked for you, has it now?"

She looked away, grinning "No" she admitted.

"An' you know how I feel about you, don't you?" he pushed.

"Yes" she answered.

"So get your old, tired ass upstairs an' put that baby down for a nap" he started to laugh as she fought against him "An' we'll have some 'quality' time before the other two get home"

Kate flicked a look at the clock and reluctantly shook her head "Gotta pick DJ up in a half hour"

"Plenty of time" he answered slyly.

"It takes ten minutes to get there" Kate pointed out.

Don laughed, pushing her hair out of her face "Like I said, plenty of time"

"No!" she shoved at him "Anyway, Rosie isn't tired"

"OK" he moved away slowly "But when they're in bed, me an' you, we're gonna have some fun"

"We'll see" Kate replied smartly "Haven't forgiven you yet"

He picked up his keys and bounced them in his hand.

"You know I'm right" he grinned at her "I'll go get DJ, watch for a while"

"OK" she leaned towards him, kissing him lightly on the lips.

…...

"Here" Kate dropped some letters onto Don's legs as he sat on the sofa "You forgot these"

He sat a little straighter and yawned, blinking a few times, trying to wake himself up.

"Thanks" he gave her a tired smile and lifted them up, taking them higher as Kate sat down and swung her legs onto his lap.

"Humph" he muttered "More bills, why do I get to open them? They're addressed to both of us"

"You're the man of the house" she replied sweetly "Or so you keep insisting"

"An' don't you forget it" he answered her with a direct look.

Kate chuckled and picked up the remote, settling back whilst flicking through the channels. Something made her look at Don, she wasn't sure why. His face had gone ashen and his shoulders tight, he gripped the paper of the last letter tightly, but his hands still shook slightly.

"What?" she asked, concerned.

He looked at her, the expression of utter shock on his face scared her and she sat up, snatching the letter from him.

"What is it?" she demanded, reading the last line, the signature.

"Read it" he choked out, standing and heading for the cabinet in the corner. Pouring and downing half a glass of his finest whiskey. Kate gave him a worried look and flipped the paper over, starting to read.

Dear Donnie, (it began)

I don't know how to write this letter, I have started so many times and given up. But you need to know and as I cannot face you to do it, this is the only way.

Three weeks ago Lexi was involved in a car wreck, she died. She was 39. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I know you and Lexi were close once, and I know you were fond of each other. I know you are now wondering how I couldn't tell you this in person, and I wish it were that simple.

Donnie, Lexi had a son, Matthew, he's 14. I wish I didn't have to do this to you, but he's your son too. Lexi found out she was pregnant about two weeks after she started her rotation upstate. We didn't even know until he was born.

Lexi wanted to keep him, wouldn't hear of adoption, but she also wanted to be a doctor. You know how badly. As she always said, she didn't want all that 'marriage and kids stuff'. So Sue and I took him, and we brought him up as our own. Only now that Lexi is gone, did we tell him the truth, and naturally, he's curious about his father. I have told him some things, but not given him a name or details. We made it clear that you never knew, that Lexi was adamant you never would.

I cannot tell you how much both Sue and I regret those decisions fourteen years ago, not to tell you, not to let you know you were a father. I tried to reason with Lexi and it all fell on deaf ears. However, I do it now with no expectations at all. I have heard that you are married, with kids too, and I'm pleased that you have had all that. I owe it to you, and to Matthew, to make sure you know.

I understand that you will probably never forgive us for this, and I can't say I blame you. For the second time I have let you down. I can only imagine what problems this is going to cause, and for that I'm sorry Donnie, truly sorry, but I always felt you needed to know and without Lexi here now, I have done so.

Where we go from here is up to you and Matthew, I shall support him whatever he wants and respect any decision you make. He's been my son for so long, I was scared to lose him too, but he has been very mature about it all.

He is your image Donnie, tall and dark with your and Lexi's wit and intelligence, he says he wants to follow in my footsteps and be a cop, little does he know that he's following in yours too.

My details are at the top of this letter, no one knows I have contacted you, I just told Matthew I would try. If you choose not to reply I shall tell him I couldn't find you and leave it at that.

Gavin Moran.

…...


	3. Chapter 2

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 2

"Pour me one of those" Kate said, her voice carefully flat, not betraying her emotions. Don poured them both a glass, handing her one and downing his own again.

"Kate, I..." he started, but then stopped, realising he had no idea what to say.

She remained silent, sipping at the whiskey and staring at the letter. Finally, after what may have been seconds or hours she placed both on the coffee table and looked at him.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I...I don't know" he admitted.

She nodded slowly.

"It has to be some kinda sick joke" he almost whispered.

"Do you trust these people?" she asked him "Would they do something like this? This kind of joke?"

Don exhaled slowly, no matter what Gavin Moran had done, he was fairly certain he'd not do this to him.

"No"

"Is it possible?" Kate asked "That he's your son?"

He nodded gravely.

"Oh God" Don sat heavily in the arm chair, his hands over his face. Kate watched him, watching it all sink in. He looked up at her, his face urgent.

"I swear" he said "I swear I had no idea, I didn't know"

"I believe you" she answered him, despite the fact the letter backed him up, she would have believed him anyway, his reaction was genuine. She knew that he would never have done this to a child anyway, not his own.

He gave her a small, grateful smile.

"You have to decide what to do" she told him.

"We had fun" Don continued, as if he hadn't heard her "Neither of us wanted anything serious, both times round. She went off up state to carry on with her internship an' I...I moved on, an' haven't even really thought about her much since"

"Don!" Kate tried to get his attention again "You need to think about _now_, not then. There's a 14 year old kid out there who's more innocent in this than anyone else"

Don looked at her in surprise, as if the consequences had just made themselves known. His mind wouldn't work, he had barely taken in the contents of the letter, the fact that he'd been a father for 14 years, _fourteen years_. Not knowing, forging his life, making his way, having a family when unbeknown to him, he already had one.

"I know" he replied automatically "Kate, I don't know what to do"

She stood, taking charge of the situation. Sitting on the arm of the chair she hugged him to her, stroking his hair.

"It's OK" she soothed "We'll get through this"

He leaned into her, releasing a deep sigh, and then pushed away, looking up in confusion.

"We?"

"If you want" she told him "I'm here for you, I'll help you, we can work it out together, if that's what you want"

He took her hand, twisting her wedding ring around thoughtfully "I don't just want that" he replied "I need it, I need you"

"Then I'm here" she murmured as he buried his head into her chest again.

…...

Kate sighed quietly as Don thumped his pillow and turned over again.

"Sorry" he muttered.

"It's OK" she answered "You didn't wake me"

"Only 'cos you haven't slept either" he observed.

"No" she agreed.

He flung the covers back "You need to" he stated, getting up.

"Where are you going?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'm gonna take the dog out" his voice was muffled through his sweater as he pulled it on.

"OK" she replied "Be careful"

"I will" he said before creeping out of the room, as he closed the bedroom door behind him Kate's heart broke for him when she saw the unguarded and devastated look on his face in silhouette.

…...

Don chewed his lip as he stood next to the dumpster in a midtown alley. Waiting for crime scenes in the early morning sun his mind wandered again.

_Fourteen years_ echoed around his head, how could someone keep a secret like that for so long?

His mind jumped around, from fourteen years previous to last night. One moment wondering what this kid looked like, what Lexi had been thinking when she realised she was pregnant, to how he could tell everyone in his life that mattered.

His kids, how would they take the addition of a ready made brother? Would they even understand? His parents, they had another grandson out there, his sister and brother had another nephew...And he had another son.

What was Matthew thinking right now? Was it just curiosity? Did he just want to meet the man who'd got his mother pregnant? Or did he want a father? But he already had a father, and a mother, and up until a few weeks ago, had no idea that his much older sister was actually his mother, and the woman he'd called mom, his grandmother.

Thoughts of the Moran family brought white hot anger, how could they have gone along with it? Allowed it? But then the anger subsided, wouldn't he do _anything_ for one of his girls? Of course he would, for _any_ of his children, all four of them. Without even meeting Matthew, he knew he'd lay his life on the line for him, it went without saying.

And round he went again, his mind whirring on and on, one thing, one question that never occurred to him was what to do. He knew that he would meet Matthew, he _had_ to. He needed to. It was a foregone conclusion. He knew he couldn't yet, first he needed to calm down. Yelling at The Morans would not do anyone any good, and it wasn't how he wanted to start this relationship with his son.

That thought again made him angry again, _this_ isn't how a father and son should meet he fumed inside his head, they should meet at moment one.

Noticing movement he was glad to see the two avalanches pull into the alley, work was a good distraction from it, it allowed him to think away from this massive event in his life. To be with someone who didn't know.

"What we got?" Mac asked, stepping towards him.

"Cleaning crew noticed blood on the side of the dumpster" Don said, standing on the box the crew and later police had used to investigate "Found this"

Both men looked down, a man's opaque eyes stared back in death, a single bullet wound to the chest visible from their vantage point.

"When will people realise" Mac said, snapping away with his camera already "They can't throw a person away with the trash?"

Don didn't answer, his mind was invaded again. He realised in an awful moment that he could come across the dead body of his own son, and not recognise him. The thought haunted him.

"Hey Mac?" he asked, stepping down.

Mac flicked him a look and so Don continued.

"You good here?" Don asked "If I leave the uni's? I'll get someone out to cover me, I'm not feelin' so good"

Mac gave him a longer look "Sure" he replied, knitting his brows in concern as Don turned away with a thanks.

Flack usually crawled to work, no matter what was wrong with him, and he'd only known him take a handful of sick days in all the time he'd known him, and the majority of them had been the result of Kate calling in for him before telling him what she was doing. Either he had a hell of a bug coming on or something was wrong. Knowing Flack would only talk if he wanted to, Mac didn't pry.

…...


	4. Chapter 3

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 3

Don drew up outside the unassuming house. It was in many ways like his own home, but without the toys discarded on the front lawn or evidence of where the dog had hidden a toy, and then forgotten where, and dug half the flower beds up to find it. It was how he hoped his own front yard might look, one day.

It was a home where he'd spent a lot of time in his youth, firstly almost trading one set of parents for another as Gavin's rookie. Sue insisting that he couldn't be feeding himself properly and Gavin taking him home for meals. He'd been invited to occasions, birthdays, New Years, Thanksgiving, and had been a part of it all.

Then with Lexi, sneaking around behind her parents back, or so they thought. He remembered with a half smile the day Sue had come home from work early feeling unwell and they'd had to brazen out why he was there in the middle of his day off when he was supposed to be visiting his parents and Lexi was supposed to be staying overnight with friends. He'd only come to pick her up to spend the day and subsequent night at his place when the temptation of an empty house had proved too much. And to think they'd laughed, thinking Sue was totally taken in by them supposedly 'running into each other' and Don giving her a ride home from her friends.

He gripped the steering wheel hard,took a deep breath and got out of the car. It had been a long time since Don Flack had refused to face his demons.

…...

"Is that him?" Don asked as he gazed at a framed photograph that adorned the Moran family home.

"Yes" Gavin replied quietly.

"Good lookin' kid" Don commented. Oddly enough he couldn't see any resemblance to himself, only to DJ. They had the same smile, held themselves the same. He could also see Lexi in him, the dark eyes, the curly hair. Matthew's was cut short, but the wave was visible.

"He should be" Gavin smiled "With his genes"

"Is he...?" Don sighed, not for the first time he questioned his decision again "Is he all right?"

"He's fine Donnie" Gavin said warmly "He was upset when Lex died, obviously. And more so when he realised that she was his mother and not his sister. But he's comin' to terms with it, he's had a few wobbles, but generally, he's dealin' better with it than I am"

"I'm sorry" Don gave him a direct look "About Lexi, I can't imagine what it must be like, losing a child like that..."

"Thank you" Gavin replied quietly "It's hard"

Don nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He'd had a genuine fondness for Gavin's daughter, their relationship aside, and he was saddened by her death. But there was something much more pressing on his mind, his son, his _eldest_ son.

"You have kids?" Gavin asked, trying to get a hold on him.

"Three" Don answered automatically "Two girls, one boy" he bit his lip, realising what he'd said "Four now I guess"

It was Gavin's turn to nod "Is that what you want?"

"What I want?" Don echoed.

"Do you want to know him?" Gavin asked "Is that why you're here?"

Don ran a hand across his face "I don't know Gavin" he finally said "It was a bit of a shock. But I do, I do want to know him, I'm jus' not sure I'm ready to"

"I can understand that" Gavin said "What we did, I promise you, we thought it was for the best, what Lexi wanted, an' then it jus' became a way of life...I'm sorry"

Don gave him a hard look "Back when... when he was born, why? Why didn't you jus' tell me?"

"Lexi ordered us not to" Gavin hung his head "We pleaded and argued, but she was determined, she said as much as it wasn't planned by either of you, you'd insist on marrying her, and that neither of you wanted that"

"I would have" Don gave a small half smile about the way Lexi knew him, despite the time between their relationships, she could see right through him. It had taken a lot longer for Jess or even Kate to reach that with him. He guessed it was because she'd known him when he was younger, and not just as an acquaintance as Kate had, but as a lover.

Gavin smiled "I couldn't have asked for a better son in law"

"Didn't happen though did it?" Don asked suddenly harsh "I never got the chance. Not even to know him, or about him, be a part of his life. You all saw to that!"

"I will never stop regretting that" Gavin admitted.

"Nor I" Don's eyes were cold and angry, as he was inside. He finally gave way to the fury he felt, the injustice that he'd had forced on him.

"I can't believe _you_ never told me!" he raged quietly "My _son_! She gave birth to _my_ son, and you all hid it from me! I...I can't believe that I was a father, that I had all that and I didn't know!"

"I understand you are angry" Gavin replied "You have every right to be"

"You're damned right I do!" Don growled "You took something, you, Sue, Lexi, something that can never be replaced! And to think all these years I felt guilty about what happened to you! My part in it! I only truly understood your motivation when Kate had DJ, then I realised that you'll do _anything_ for your kids!"

"Exactly" Gavin replied, a look of defeat on him.

"But _this_!" he raged on "I jus' can't believe it!"

"Donnie, we truly are sorry" Gavin tried again "If you want to get to know him, be a part of his life and he yours, Sue and I won't stand in your way"

"Damned right you won't!" Don replied, his tone acid "I should go for custody! After your behaviour, I'd get it as well!"

Gavin looked up sharply, fear in his eyes "Are you going to?"

Don realised that his pig headed side was rearing, and he attempted to rein it in, without success.

"I might" he warned "I have every right to"

Gavin nodded again, but he didn't reply. Suddenly Don could take no more of this, he couldn't take the pictures of a happy boy growing up in a secure family smiling at him, he couldn't take the guilt he felt at letting the boy down, he couldn't take the fear that he felt. Most of all, he couldn't take the dejected look on Gavin Moran's face at his anger fuelled words.

"I have to go" he muttered, heading to the door "I...here" he shoved a card at Gavin, his work card, he'd written his private cell and home number on the back as well.

"Is this for Matty?" Gavin turned it over.

"Yes" Don snapped, hand on the door "Give it to him, tell him if he wants to call me, I'll be waiting"

And he was gone, into his car and away. Trying to outrun his own feelings.

…...

Kate floored the van, trying to hear centrals location details over the sirens and the sound of a German Shepherd barking and yowling with excitement.

"Dolly shut the hell up!" Kate yelled, finally catching the details she needed.

Arriving, she jumped out, briefly taking in the scene. Uniformed and plain clothes officers ringed what appeared to be a spot of waste ground, littered with falling down trees and other debris abandoned long since. The fence was decrepit and sagging. This was why they needed a dog, Dolly would find the suspect hiding in there in a tenth of the time it would take to find him with human eyes and ears.

Clipping the leash onto a trembling Dolly, Kate headed for the main huddle of officers.

"Mac!" she said fondly "You rang?!"

"Kate" he smiled warmly in greeting before turning business like immediately "Suspect is in there, 5ft 8 Caucasian male. Wanted for murder, we traced him to that car shop" he indicated behind him to a group of open mouthed mechanics clustered around an open fronted car shop "He holed up in there for a while, there was gun play and he ran, got himself in here, still armed"

"OK" Kate nodded, taking the megaphone he handed her.

"This is NYPD" Kate spoke into the megaphone, holding her free hand with the leash above Dolly to keep her still and quiet "K9 unit, you have two minutes to come out with your hands on your head before I release the dog"

Kate gave Mac a smile back with the megaphone "Usually does the trick"

Mac gave a smirk "What's the statistic?" he asked jovially "50% come out within 90 seconds?"

"Yep" Kate replied "And the other 50 try and outrun a German Shepherd"

Mac laughed and shook his head, looking at his watch. Kate moved her hand, looking at Dolly she circled her.

"You gonna get him huh?" she asked the dog, to be answered with a series of excited barks.

"90 seconds" Mac spoke into the megaphone and then lowering it to speak to Kate again.

"You seem to like this" he nodded to the dog "Partner that doesn't answer back"

"I have three kids and a Don at home" Kate rolled her eyes "I get enough answerin' back, this is great"

Mac saw the shadow cross her face, but didn't comment on it.

"Watch him Dolly!" Kate pointed into the undergrowth where there was more activity, the dog let rip with a volley of barks as intended.

"One minute!" Mac said into the megaphone "Shame we have to warn them" he added to Kate with a wry smile.

"I know" Kate replied "So much more fun to let her go in unannounced"

Attention was diverted by a plain car with lights flashing and sirens blaring pulling around the corner into the parking lot. Dolly looked as she recognised the engine, as did most of the officers.

"Finally" Kate heard Mac mutter over the noise.

There was more activity from the waste ground and suddenly the suspect shot through a hole in the fence between two officers caught napping. The dog exploded, and Kate held onto her.

"Down!" she commanded, Dolly obeyed but her body shook with adrenaline. This was a game to her, if it ran, you stopped it. And when you stopped it you got fuss and the ball, the object of Dolly's esteemed affection, her ball. That and the person who held it, Kate.

Don saw what happened and swung his car to intercept the fleeing suspect. Jamming the brakes on he flung the door open, catching the man and sending him sprawling. Officers were springing to action all around them, some drawing guns, some running to aid in the capture.

Don had dived out of the car and onto the suspect, grappling with him on the floor, before assistance could arrive there was a shout of pain and Don slumped, the suspect was up and running again.


	5. Chapter 4

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 4

Kate started to panic, but kept her head, despite what was happening she had a job to do here, the suspect was still at large and a risk to everyone. Unclipping the leash she sent Dolly after the suspect. The dog had him on the floor in milliseconds. Glancing at Don she saw him starting to sit up, looking very pissed off but alive, panic subsided to concern.

"Keep still!" Kate ordered as she ran to the dog and suspect "Don't move and you won't get hurt!"

As trained, Dolly had pulled the man to the floor by his arm and held on, she didn't increase her bite, just didn't let go. The more he struggled, the more the sharp canine teeth cut through his jacket towards his skin.

"Dolly leave!" she commanded, holding the man's free arm. Mac dived on the other side as several officers piled on, snapping cuffs shut.

The dog barked and bounced around, as soon as the cuffs were on she knew her job was done, it was playtime. But then she stopped and trotted purposefully over to where Don sat on the floor, his head between his knees.

She sat next to him and gave a low whine, raking his shoulder with her paw. Kate headed for them, throwing the ball to Dolly.

"Good girl!" she praised "Good collar, good girl!"

Don coughed and looked up. The panic in Kate had subsided as she had seen him sit up, breathing and not bleeding from anywhere obvious.

"You OK?" she asked.

"In – a – minute" he puffed.

"Lucky punch to the stomach?" she winced slightly at him, and he shook his head.

"I think" he replied in a gravelly voice "My balls are in my throat"

"Oh...God" Kate put her hand on his shoulder.

"I feel sick" he groaned.

"You want some ice or something?" she offered tentatively, recoiling as she saw his expression.

"_That_ is the last place I want ice" he huffed, brushing her hand away and standing awkwardly.

Kate watched him head for Mac, snarling at some uni's to get the 'scumbag' back to the precinct.

Dolly whined as he walked away, she had only been living with them a week or so, but she'd worked with Kate over a year now through her training, she recognised his scent from Kate, he was part of her 'pack'.

After a brief conversation with Mac he jumped back in his car and sped after the patrol cars carrying their murder suspect. Kate bit her tongue, she knew what was bothering him, she expected some fall out.

…...

Don closed the interrogation room door slowly and deliberately. Walking with measured strides to the chair opposite his suspect he sat down and smiled, a trick designed to unnerve his suspect.

"Well" he said "You've had an interesting day then?"

"Whatever" the man replied.

"Oh Mr Delanney" Flack laughed "I'm sure you can do better than that. You shot a man, and robbed him, had a shoot out with the police and then assaulted a detective whilst resisting arrest. Oh, yeah, then you had your apartment searched, yeah we know" Flack raised his eyebrows "You weren't there, we had a magic key it's called a search warrant"

"Bull shit man!" the guy replied hotly.

"On the contrary" Flack chuckled "We had some evidence that linked you to the victim, that bloody nose you got? The one where I bet your victim, Peter, by the way Peter Yeltz, that was his name, gave you when you robbed him. That blood left your DNA all over him, along with your prints on the dumpster and on the wallet you discarded. See, when you get arrested for mugging ole ladies, your DNA and prints get filed away, and then when you do somethin' else stupid, like kill someone, we can come get your sorry little ass"

Mac watched intently through the two way mirror. Don was often at his best during an interrogation when he was angry about something unrelated. He had the rare ability to channel and focus it on the suspect and use it. His sarcasm and dry humour often either angered or baffled suspects into tripping themselves up. Though he knew this, Mac watched him carefully. There were a few rare times when Don would blow, and lose his veneer of professionalism and therefore any advantage he had over the interrogation. It was a fine line.

Mac could see the tight lines of his shoulders and the forced relaxed stance, he could hear the bite under the seemingly calm tone and see his jaw tensed. Something was definitely wrong, coupled with Kate being a little off, Mac sensed trouble. He had noticed their exchange at the scene of the arrest, and that Don had left without speaking to her again, more odd was Kate, she seemed to just accept it without any reaction.

Mac turned his attention back to the interview just as Danny entered the room, handing Mac a folder.

"Ballistics match" Danny said.

"So along with the rest of the evidence" Mac summed up "We have him"

"Slam dunk" Danny grinned.

"Don't" Mac pointed the folder at him with a wry smile "Every time someone says 'slam dunk' around here, it all goes wrong"

Danny laughed "I hear ya boss"

Mac tapped on the window and waited as Don left the interrogation room and joined them.

"'Sup?" he asked.

"Ballistics match" Mac held the file up "We can charge him, confession or not"

"Great" Don rubbed his hands together "Sla..."

"No!" Mac and Danny said in unison.

"What?!" Flack frowned.

"That phrase" Mac chuckled "Is banned from any case I'm on, it's bad luck"

"All right" Don said with a note of amusement, eyebrow raised.

"I gotta take off" Danny said "Hoops later?" he directed at Don.

"Sorry buddy" Don's face closed down "Got somethin' on"

Danny was puzzled, there were plenty of times that one or the other weren't free for a game, but the look on his friends face was out of place for the answer.

"OK" Danny said carefully "I'll see ya"

"Bye" Don raised a hand, trying to avoid Mac's direct stare as the door closed.

"You OK?" Mac asked.

"Fine" Don smiled "Took a few minutes to get over the uh, assault earlier, but I'll live"

"I'm glad to hear it" Mac replied "But I didn't mean that"

"Oh" Don frowned "What did you mean?"

"You seem a little...tense" Mac answered.

"Do I?" Don asked "Sorry, no, I'm good"

"Uh-huh" Mac nodded.

"I'm gonna get him to booking" Don said, hand on the door handle. He almost turned and blurted it all out, he wanted to confide in someone, he wanted someone else's take on this, other than Kate, she was too close to him, she was reacting to his actions and not the situation itself. But he didn't, he opened the door and he left.

…...

Sitting in his car at yet another set of red lights Don tapped impatiently on the steering wheel. He glanced at his cell in it's holder on the dash, it remained stubbornly quiet.

Following the seemingly endless trail of traffic from one red light to another was starting to irritate him. He had clocked out fairly early, taking back some time owed and intended to head home after a rare thing in the life of a homicide detective, a case all but wrapped in a day.

Now he wasn't so sure, he regretted rushing to the Moran's on a whim. He was also glad he'd done it. Now he was assailed by so many more questions he had no answers to. Things were such a jumble in his head he didn't know which way to turn, so at the next intersection he turned the car in the direction he felt sure would bring him some clarity, comfort and sound advice, if not any answers.

…...

"Hello son!" Maria Flack gave him her usual warm smile, and the hug he needed "This is a surprise!"

He smiled in return, hugging her tightly.

"No children?"

His face changed slightly, looking disappointed "Oh, so I'm only allowed to visit my mom so she can see her grandchildren?!"

Had he said it with his usual sarcasm and tilted smirk, she'd have paid no heed to the comment, but he didn't, he sounded flat.

"Of course not" she soothed, cradling his cheek in her hand "You're my son, you come any time you want"

"Hmm" he grumbled, following her in "Where's dad?"

"Golf" she replied over her shoulder, leading him through to the kitchen where she practically lived. If not cooking then reading a magazine at the table or watching the small TV. She was rarely prised away from her kitchen, and her husband had long ago realised that he'd have to take to sitting in there too if he wanted to spend any time with her. An old armchair sat in the corner with a radio nearby that never seemed to be off and newspapers on the occasional table that stood neatly next to it.

Maria Flack well recognised the brooding look on his face. Something was up.

...

_Thank you for reading whoever is, much appreciated. And thank you Smuffly for the reviews, yes it was a cliffie but ended well this time :)_


	6. Chapter 5

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 5

Don flopped into the chair in his mother's comfortable kitchen, leafing through a paper without reading it, then standing and wandered around, opening cupboards and the refrigerator on automatic pilot.

Maria moved around her son, making coffee and reaching for the biscuit tin, placing them on the old and worn dining table she sat and watched him ransack her kitchen.

"You know" she said "You all do that, straight in the cupboards and refrigerator, you, your brother, your sister, even your children do it"

Don shrugged, from her gentle tone he knew it was something that made her happy, seeing her kids back under her roof again and rifling through the cupboards as if the past 40 something years were lost in time.

"I like to see what you have" he said simply "You might have something nice that we don't"

Maria gave a peel of laughter "Your son says the same thing"

She saw something hunted about his expression before it became closed as he continued to wander aimlessly around, touching things here and there and sighing.

"So" she said "How's work?"

Again, he shrugged "All right, people kill each other, I catch them, most of the time and we all go round again"

"Tough case?" she asked.

"Not particularly" he replied, staring out of the window "Not a bad case load for a change"

"And Kate? The children? All OK?" she asked. If it wasn't work then it must be family.

"All good" the smile was genuine "Kate's got her work dog, she's loving it. Me and the kids like her at home more, and surprisingly, she does too. She seems much happier"

"Why is that a surprise?" Maria asked.

"You know Kate" he said with a laugh "She doesn't like to get bored, but she figured that she wanted more time at home and she's much more relaxed these days and the kids are much more settled too"

"You two do lead a stressful life" Maria observed "With your jobs and three smalls, but you've coped so well"

"Yuh" Don nodded.

"You have" she insisted "You've had one serious bad spell in ten years, that's pretty good going, you always look so _happy_ around each other. I'm glad for that, you only want to see your children happy. And your three are, they're great kids"

"I know" he replied, still wandering.

Maria felt foreboding, if it wasn't work, and it wasn't his marriage or children causing a problem, then she worried it was maybe his health, or Sam. He took Sam's problems as his own, taking his responsibility to her seriously, he had never let her fall, not once. Maria felt a fierce pride at that, he could have easily left her to her fate, shut the pain out of his life as her husband had. But he didn't, he was always there.

"Donnie" she said finally "Sit down and drink your coffee, you are making me dizzy"

He looked at her, surprised to realise he was still pacing about. Doing as he was asked he took a handful of biscuits, but then proceeded to stack them on top of each other and twirl them around on the table.

"Mom?" he asked finally.

"Yes son?" she replied, trying not to let her imagination run away with her. She knew something was wrong, that's why he was here, he always came to her with problems he couldn't deal with.

"There's something I need to tell you" he looked at the biscuits, regarding them.

"Go on" she urged "You can tell me anything"

"I know I can" he smiled at her, grateful beyond words for the relationship he had with his mother. Kate called him a mommy's boy, it wasn't an insult, it was truth, he was. He knew that Kate didn't resent his mother, she often urged him to go and speak to her because she knew that sometimes, Maria was the only one he could be open with at first.

She put a hand on his, stilling the twirling biscuits and looking at him. He sighed and looked back, wondering where the hell to start.

"You remember my old Sarge? Gavin Moran?" he asked her.

"Why yes!" she replied with a smile, she'd known Gavin since he'd graduated,having worked with Donald senior as a young officer. She had been delighted when he'd been assigned as her son's training officer at his second posting, it had eased some of her fears knowing that he was with a good man out there on the streets.

"You remember a few years ago that I had to arrest him?" he asked solemnly.

Her smile fell, she _had_ forgotten and now reminded she remembered it all. Her husbands anger at the incident, her son's disappointment.

"Yes, I do" she said quietly.

"He had a daughter" Don stared at the table "I had a …. relationship with her at that time" there was no need to tell his mother about the adventure of their first summer he reasoned.

"OK" she was slightly confused by the admission, but maybe Gavin had now found out and after they had reconciled all those years ago, perhaps the girls father didn't like it. Then a thought occurred to her.

"You said had?" she queried.

"She died" he replied, his tone flat and emotionless "In a car accident, a couple of weeks ago"

"Oh I'm sorry" Maria comforted him "That must have been awful, poor Gavin"

But she knew, she knew there was more. He wasn't grieving for this woman, there was something just as big under the surface, but no grief. Not of the kind she knew he was capable of feeling. The kind that had almost drowned him when Jessica died, when Kate was missing.

"Yes" he replied "Poor Gavin"

Maria caught the sharp note in his voice and frowned, but he continued.

"She left something behind" he raised his head, eyes filled with fury as he told her "My son"

"What?!" Maria felt shocked to her soul, what on earth could he mean?

"She had a baby" he went on, his lips tight and voice now filled with anger "_My_ baby, and she never told me mom. I had a son, for _fourteen_ years! Gavin and Sue brought him up as their own" his voice died at the end, going back to flat and lifeless.

Maria was speechless, whatever she had prepared herself for it wasn't this. It broke her heart to see the pain on his face, the tears in his eyes. Tears formed in her own.

"Oh son" she said quietly.

"Right" he sighed "I haven't the faintest idea what to do mom" her heart broke a little bit more as his eyes begged her to make it better, to tell him what to do.

"Have you seen him?" she asked quietly, controlling her own emotions.

"Not in person" he said, his shoulders drooping "I jus' came from Gavin's, I tore a strip off him"

Maria nodded, she could imagine what had occurred "Do you want to?"

"Of course I want to!" he retorted sharply.

Maria ignored the outburst, she knew it wasn't directed at her, really.

"And does he?" she pressed gently.

"Yes" the reply was curt "I left Gavin my card, so he... so Matthew can call me if he still wants to"

"Matthew" she tried the name out, the name of her grandson, her _eldest_ grandson.

"Yeah, Matthew" he sighed, finally looking at her, she grasped his hand and squeezed tightly.

"This could be a good thing Donnie" she said "This is a chance for you to know him, for him to find out about his family, where he comes from"

"I know" he nodded "It's just such a ….mess"

"Now it is" she wiped a tear away "But it will work out, you are a wonderful father and you will be to him too, now you have the chance"

"I hope so" he said with feeling "The kid's been through enough"

"Do Kate and the children know?" she asked, trying to find the lie of the land.

"Kate does" he said "We haven't told the kids, only found out ourselves last night"

"And how does she feel about it?" Maria was careful. She loved her daughter in law, and she could imagine her hurt and confusion at this revelation, but she knew Kate had an unreasonable streak in her, and was almost as stubborn as Don. She hoped it wasn't going to cause a rift between them, when Don needed her most.

"She's been great" he smiled, a genuine smile "She's been there, real calm. I thought she might not believe I didn't know or be jealous, or you know the way she can be sometimes, but she's just _there_"

"She loves you" Maria said simply, inwardly relieved.

"You know what ma?" he said, a lopsided smile forming "He looks jus' like DJ, I saw his picture"

Maria smiled back "And DJ looks just like you"

…...


	7. Chapter 6

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 6

Kate looked up and over her shoulder slightly as there was a tap on the bathroom door.

"Hi" Don stood, he looked normal, sounded OK. But she knew he wasn't.

"Hey" she smiled. No demands about where he'd been, or how he was, it had taken her a long time, but Kate knew now that pushing would end in a fight, and that was the last thing they needed right now.

"Room in there for me?" he asked, slightly off hand, indicating towards the steaming hot bath she lay in.

"I put scent stuff in" she said with a smile "You'll smell like a girl"

He shrugged as he started to undress "I'm secure in my sexuality" he said with a wry grin "Even if someone did try and castrate me with his knee today"

"Glad to hear it" she replied "How is your, um, injury?"

"Sore" he replied "And colourful"

"Ouch!" she exclaimed, seeing some nasty bruising as he moved to step in the bath "You charge him?"

"Damned right I did" he muttered "You just don't _do_ that to another guy"

Kate chuckled as he settled behind her, and leaned back, carefully.

"Kids OK?" he asked.

"Yeah fine" she answered. She itched to ask about what he was thinking, had he made contact today with Matthew and that's where he'd been? She thought better of it, he wouldn't hide anything from her, but he would only tell her when he'd worked it all out in his head himself.

"Sorry" he mumbled "About earlier, I didn't mean to snap at you"

Although initially a little annoyed, Kate knew if she berated him, he'd go further into his own head. She gave a low laugh.

"I think I can let it go" she answered him "Seein' as how many times I snap at you"

"True" he agreed "Though it ever happens again, ice is _not_ a good suggestion"

"Well I didn't think" she said with amused indignance.

"Obviously" she could hear the smile in his voice.

"You eaten?" she asked after a few moments "There's some dinner left, well there might be, DJ went back for more"

"Been at my mom's" he answered "She fed me"

"Doesn't she always?" Kate replied, she should have realised that's where he'd go, though it did hurt a little.

"She does" he agreed "I told her"

Kate swallowed, she wondered if she hadn't been there when he opened the letter, how long would it have taken for him to tell her? She pushed the thought away, it was unproductive.

"What did she say?"

He sighed "Shocked, upset" he told her "Pretty much how we felt"

"I suppose it's normal"

"I guess so" he said "Though what's normal about any of this?"

"I don't know" she replied in a small voice.

"I also, um..." Don faltered, sliding his hands down the outsides of her arms, something to occupy his hands when he was anxious "I went to see Gavin"

Not strictly true he realised, he'd rushed over there on a whim, with hindsight he had no idea what he'd have done had it been Matthew that opened the door to him.

"And?" Kate asked with baited breath.

"I lost my temper" he admitted.

Kate sighed "Well, what else could they expect?"

She felt him shrug, another action he used when feeling uncomfortable, usually about his own behaviour or words, she could only imagine the anger this Gavin character must have faced.

"I left my card" he said finally "For Matthew"

"You think he'll call?" she asked.

"Gavin said he was keen" Don replied "But we'll see. I jus' wonder what it is he wants"

"You" Kate said simply "He wants to know who you are"

"But does he?" she heard the misgiving in his voice "Does he want a dad? Know his family and be a part of it? Or does he jus' wanna meet me, say oh yes that's where I get my devastating good looks from, and go about his life again?"

Kate gave a laugh at the implied joke "You won't know" she said "Until he calls"

"I guess" Don said quietly.

"What is it you want?" she asked carefully "Do you want him to be a big part of your life?"

"What kind of question is that?" he asked, impatience in his tone "Of course I do!"

"OK" she soothed, putting her hand over his "I didn't know what you had decided, apart from wanting to meet him"

"Right" he said, voice flat again "I want him to be, well, a son. If we can, I know it might not work out like that, but I've missed out on so much"

"And so has he" Kate answered "You're a great dad. No you're not always here, and sometimes the kids miss you when you're on a heavy case, but you've always been there when they needed you, always"

He rested his chin on her shoulder "Is it OK with you?" he asked, something that suddenly occurred to him, to have Matthew be part of his life, meant him being part of _all_ their lives.

"I won't deny I'm worried" she replied honestly "About it all, about how the kids will react. How you will react. And about whether Matthew _wants_ to know everyone, he might not Don, he might just want to know you. But I would never stand in your way, how I feel shouldn't even be a consideration"

"Of course it's a consideration" he said sharply "I need to know how you feel too"

"I will support you" she said decisively "Whatever happens and whatever doesn't. I'm not going to start throwing obstacles at you. If you want him to be a part of the family, then that's what we'll do"

"Thank you" he said, dropping a small kiss on her shoulder "When did you get so mature and reasonable?"

Kate laughed, though it may have been considered an insult, it wasn't directed like that.

"I don't know, scary isn't it?"

"Yeah" he laughed, he felt slightly better, more able to cope.

…...

Almost 24 hours later Don clocked out from work. He hadn't slept well again, not dropping off until around 3am, when Mollie had promptly come into the bedroom crying and proceeded to throw up all over the bed, him, Kate and herself.

After sorting the bed and himself out while Kate saw to the child, Rosie had woken up, red faced and whining with teething pain. That led to him in one bed with Rosie and Kate in Mollie's room with Mollie, and a bucket.

The whole family had been touchy and fractious with lack of sleep and illness that morning, except DJ, who had the sense to keep his mouth shut and head down as his sisters whined and his parents huffed and sighed at each other.

Don headed down the stairs of the precinct, he knew Kate would be tearing her hair out by now because she'd probably had less sleep than him, and a day of Mollie being ill and Rosie being fractious and grumpy. He dreaded to think what he may find when he got home, with one child ill it usually followed that the other two got it. And Kate wasn't the most patient nurse in the world.

"Detective Flack?" Don heard, momentarily wondering if he could just keep walking and pretend he hadn't heard "Don Flack?"

He regarded the baseball cap that spoke to him slightly annoyed, he made a decision.

"Yes?" he answered "If it's a police matter, I'm afraid I'm just leaving for the day, I'll be back tomorrow if it can wait, if not I'm sure someone else can help you"

"It's not a police matter" the cap replied, and then was removed "I'm Matthew"

Don swallowed, yes, it certainly was.

"Hello" Don managed to get out.

"Hi" Matthew replied shyly, if anything Don thought, the kid looked more uncomfortable than him right now.

"You got my card then?" Don asked, for want of anything else. What could he say? He couldn't express the emotions welling up inside him right now, and he really couldn't ask him to hang on 5 minutes while he went back into work, balled his eyes out and then came back again. Two days ago he didn't even know Matthew existed, but right now everything else paled in comparison to this moment.

"Yeah" Matthew gave him a tight smile.

"Good" Don nodded, he thought maybe Matthew had inherited his lack of ability to speak in emotional situations from him as they looked at each other. Don wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry. He wanted to punch the air, he also wanted to punch the nearest wall.

"I'm sorry..." Matthew looked unsure now, frowning and biting his lip he started to crack his knuckles "Your card, it said the 12th precinct...I went in and someone showed me where your desk was, and then I thought maybe wasn't such a good idea... At work...So I came out again, and hung around a bit"

Don smiled, watching him 'fiddling' with his hands, as Kate would say, Matthew was his son all right. He made a mental note to tell Kate that it was inherited not learned, next time she complained about DJ doing the same.

"I'm glad you did" the sincerity was clear.

"So am I" the boy answered, looking younger than his fourteen years, and very vulnerable. It dawned on Don what a huge deal this was for Matthew as well as him. Whatever he was feeling, this awkward teenager was feeling it without the benefit of adult reasoning.

"Shall we get a..." he was about to say coffee, but did teenagers drink coffee? He couldn't drink beer, what did kids of this age do? Should he offer ice cream? "Drink?" Don finished lamely.

"Sure" Matthew shrugged slightly, but smiled.

"I know a good diner" Don said as they started to walk.

The kid smiled at him.

"Do um, do Gavin and Sue know where you are?" Don asked as the thought occurred to him.

"Yes" Matthew replied "Well they know I'm in the city anyway, I uh, I didn't tell them what exactly I was doing. This..." Matthew stopped and looked at him, his father, the man he'd not even known about "This was something I needed to do by myself, ya know?"

Don nodded slowly. Whatever misgivings he had about Matthew not being totally truthful with the Moran's were quickly quashed. They'd stolen 14 years, he could steal an hour back. He reached out and tipped the cap Matthew held in his hand towards him, smiling.

"Knicks fan huh?" he asked in a light tone.

"All the way!" the kid replied proudly.

"Good choice" Don grinned his approval.


	8. Chapter 7

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 7

Don looked at the boy in front of him. There had been the faint question in his mind about Matthews paternity. How could he be _sure_? He didn't think that Lexi had ever been the type to sleep around, in fact he knew at least up until she had taken up her internship he had been one of a handful of partners, and she'd joked that she counted him twice.

But since he'd seen the picture at the Moran home, and now seeing him in person there was no doubt, he could see what Gavin meant, although at first he'd only been able to draw a comparison with DJ, now he could see it. From memory (and some rather unflattering pictures his mother displayed) he knew how he looked at that age, and Matthew could have been his twin. He may carry the Moran name, but this kid was a Flack.

"Were you on your way home?" Matthew asked politely when their drinks arrived. Don drinking a strong black coffee and Matthew a soda.

"Yeah I clocked off for the day, early for me" he smiled.

The teenager nodded "Dad, I mean Gavin..." he paused frowning, now he'd actually _met_ his biological father he was confused at what was appropriate to call everyone "He told me a bit about you. That you're a detective, and you have other kids"

"Homicide detective" Don told him "And yes, I have three ….other kids" he'd stumbled over that bit and looked away, embarrassed.

"What are they called?" Matthew gave him a direct look that came straight from Lexi, it unnerved him a bit.

"DJ, he's nearly 10, and then there's Mollie, she's 5 and then the baby of the family Rosie" Don said, reaching into his jacket he pulled a picture from his wallet, cracked and tattered.

Matthew looked at the picture "They look happy" he commented.

"They're good kids" Don replied.

"That your wife?" Matthew pointed to Kate, scowling next to the children.

"Yeah" Don gave a huff of laughter "She doesn't like her picture being taken, she does smile sometimes"

Matthew smiled "She's pretty"

"She's great" Don answered. He had so many questions of his own, but he didn't know where to start, and he didn't want to scare him off either, so he contented himself with allowing Matthew to lead the conversation.

"Do they know about me?" he asked quietly.

"Kate does" Don replied "We haven't told the children yet"

"Will you?" A direct question.

"Yes" A direct answer "They need to know too, even if you don't want to meet them"

"It'd be nice" Matthew said "I thought I had two sisters and a brother, then when I found out about Lexi being my mom...I had none, and now I have some again. It's weird"

Understatement of the century, Don thought. But the statement itself served to remind him that as much as his life had been turned upside down, everything Matthew had known to be true had suddenly been taken, and a new identity forced on him. Considering that, the boy was remarkably calm.

"Are you OK with it?" Don asked, thinking immediately that he had asked the stupidest question, ever.

Matthew shrugged "Sort of" he said "I don't know really, it's all a bit new"

Don nodded "I don't..." he started "I don't expect anything you know, just whatever you're comfortable with is fine"

"I want to get to know you" Matthew looked him straight in the eye "Maybe, you know do stuff together, sometime, if you want"

"I'd like that" Don smiled.

"Good" Matthew finished his soda and stood "It was nice to meet you...um..." he clearly had a hang up about what titles to give to everyone. Did he now call Don dad and Gavin Grandpa? Sue Grandma and refer to Lexi as Mom?

Don noted the hesitation and guessed at it's source, to him it didn't matter what Matthew called him, or anyone else. Being someone's dad was about more than a title. But teenagers had strange ways of dealing with things.

"Call me whatever you are comfortable with" he assured.

"OK then" Matthew stuck his hand out, and Don stood, taking it. Longing to hug him, tell him what this meant, but he held back "Don, thanks for the drink"

"You're welcome" Don smiled "Any time, and I mean that"

"Can I call you?" the teenage front was replaced with the vulnerable little boy again "Some time?"

"Of course" Don said "Whenever you want, if you leave your number and I can't answer right away, I'll call you back as soon as I can"

Matthew swung the bag off his back, taking out a scrap of paper he scrawled a number on it. Don noticed he was left handed, like him, his father, DJ and Mollie, the realisation brought a lump to his throat.

"That's my cell number" the hand that Matthew held the scrap with trembled once and then was forced still "It receives texts too"

Don took the paper and swallowed the lump, smiling "Thank you"

"'Bye" Matthew said, and turned and left.

"Matthew?" Don called out on impulse, suddenly unsure of what he had intended to say.

"Yeah?" the kid gave him a quizzical look.

"You need a ride anywhere?" Don could have kicked himself, that really wasn't what he wanted to say.

"It's cool" the kid grinned "Meetin' some friends, but thanks"

"OK" Don smiled, and again impulsively he added "I think you've been real brave, coming to find me"

Matthew grinned "You don't know if you don't try, right?"

"Right" Don agreed, returning the small wave as Matthew left.

He watched him go and then all but collapsed back in his seat, folding the piece of paper neatly. The waitress smiled at him and topped his coffee up. He took a mouthful and unfolded the paper again, reaching for his cell he noticed he had a text. Waiting to read it he entered and saved Matthew's number, looking at it for a long moment before switching over to messages, it was from Kate.

_Please get some more teething gel on your way home, and washing detergent, Mollie still throwing up on everything, and something for you and DJ to eat, haven't had time to cook a meal. _

Don sighed, back to reality with a bump, and vomit it would seem.

_On my way now. I love you all._

Uncharacteristic, but he felt the need to say it.

…...

Don paused. He'd been kissing Kate, taking comfort in touching her, feeling her respond and touch him back. His desire had grown quickly, sex was always a stress relief for him. The more stressed he was, the more passionate he was. Kate joked that it was his Italian side showing itself.

"You OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good" she replied quickly, trying to draw him into another kiss.

"Hmmm" he said, obviously unconvinced he leaned away, regarding her in the soft light of the lamp.

"What?" she said.

"You don't seem so into it" he answered.

"I'm just tired" she retorted "I'll be OK"

"No" he said with exaggerated patience "I mean _physically_"

"Like I said" she snapped "Tired" she _knew_ that her body wasn't responding how it usually did. And it had nothing to do with her being tired, she could be a walking zombie and she'd still turn into a moaning mess when he touched her. Always been the same. Only tonight, she wasn't, no matter how hard she willed her body to.

"Something wrong?" he asked with a slight sneer, the only explanation he could think of, the only thing that was different was the whole Matthew situation, and that cut deep. He planned on telling her they'd met but now he had second thoughts.

_Knew it was too good to be true!_ He thought angrily.

"No, I told you, I'm fine" she said with exasperation, she had an idea what was going on, but really didn't want to accept it. Hopefully if they just carried on, things would sort themselves out "Are _you_ OK though? Thought you might have been a bit tender?"

"I'm fine" he snapped "Like you can't tell that anyway" he got up, pulling his boxers and undershirt on "But guess it doesn't matter that I can get it up, seeing as I obviously don't turn you on any more!"

He stormed out of the bedroom, leaving Kate on the verge of tears and with a mountain of guilt. How could her body do this to her now?! She desperately wanted to feel how she always felt, she knew that's what he needed right now, and she couldn't give it to him, no matter how much she wanted to.

She lay there a moment, wiping tears away.

_And what's with this as well?!_ She thought angrily _All the damned crying!_

Suddenly she got up, pulling her robe on she went downstairs.

_No way_ she thought to herself _No way are we gonna start fighting now, we need each other_.

…...

_A/N – Thankyou Smuffly for the reviews they keep me going and thanks to everyone who reads/favourites and follows – you are amazing!_


	9. Chapter 8

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 8

Seeing downstairs in darkness she headed for the side door into the garage, her eyes adjusting to the dim light she saw the door to the back yard open and Dolly's eyes gleamed at her from the doorway, her run gate stood open. Skate appeared beside her, both tails waving happily. Kate could smell cigarette smoke.

Reaching onto the top shelf by the door she found a packet, but no lighter. Taking a cigarette she patted both dogs and went into the garden.

"You got a light there, tall dark an' moody?" she asked the figure slumped on the bench.

Wordlessly he held the lighter out to her, she took it, trying not to mind that usually, he'd light it for her. Not that they smoked regularly, in fact, they hardly ever did these days, the packet on the shelf had been there months.

She put the lighter in her robe pocket and looked at Don as he glared angrily at the sky.

"It's not you" she said finally.

"It's not you it's me" he said, sarcasm dripping from every word "Then I guess that makes it all OK"

"Oh shut up!" she snapped irritably "I mean nothing has changed with us"

"Obviously it has" he turned and looked at her "Or we'd be up there still"

"Not in the way you think" she replied in a small voice, she felt humiliated right now, she didn't feel like herself and she hated it. She could barely accept that maybe she was starting the menopause, never mind admit it to someone else, even Don.

"So how has it changed?" he challenged her, anger in his face "What, you woke up this morning and decided that you're bored with sex with me? That you don't want me any more?"

"Stop overreacting!" she replied, heatedly "It's _once_ in ten years, so put it in perspective!"

"It's not the first time you've turned me down" he pointed out harshly.

"And there's always been a good reason!" she retorted "Which you've accepted, and been fine with. You _know_ how I feel about you"

He thought a moment "You're right" he said "It's not even that you turned me down, because you didn't. Those other times, it's been because you were mad as hell at me, or sick or somethin'. This is different, you're just not _into_ it now are you? Into _me_"

She walked to stand in front of him "Up here" she tapped the side of her head "I am"

"I'm obviously doin' somethin' wrong, tell me, I'll put it right and then we both win"

"You can't" she said, close to tears again "I wish it were that simple"

"Would you stop talkin' riddles and just tell me?" he said angry again.

"I think I'm starting the menopause" she said through a sob "I want to, I really want to make love to you, I feel closer to you when we do, I know you do too, and we really need that now, but I can't..." her voice rose and she fought to control herself "My body, it just _won't_! And the night sweats an' these damned tears!"

He looked at her properly, and felt ashamed. He should have noticed something wasn't right. No matter what else was going on, sex was usually great, even when they were angry with each other. It hadn't been that fantastic recently, he realised.

He ran a hand over his face and stood up, he put his arms around her and she threw the cigarette, leaning on him, crying.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed.

"No" he muttered "It's me who should be sorry"

She wiped her eyes and looked at him "You know it's not you right?" she demanded "That I still think you're pretty hot, for an old guy"

He gave her a lopsided smile "Thank you, I think" he said dryly.

"You're welcome" she smiled through her tears "But I _am_ tired, let's go back to bed?"

He nodded "Go on, I'll put the dogs away"

She touched his face "No matter what" she said "I love you"

…...

They lay wrapped around each other, both lost in thought. Kate wondered _if_ there was anything a doctor could do, wasn't the menopause a natural part of a woman's life? Well, even if it was, she didn't like it.

Don reflected on his meeting with Matthew, on the surface it had gone well and he felt more at ease now they had actually met. He supposed without sex to occupy his mind, and sleep further away than that, he'd have to talk about it. He knew he needed to, just old habits die hard, he felt awkward.

"Matthew came to the precinct today" he announced through the silence.

_Ah_ Kate thought.

"To see you?" she asked.

"Why else?" he replied quietly.

"Well I was hoping it wasn't in handcuffs" she answered him.

"Oh, yeah, I see" Don realised how his statement could have been mistaken "No, not in handcuffs, he came in, but left again, waited outside"

"How did it go?" she asked.

He let out a long breath "Hard at first" he admitted "I didn't know what to say, to do"

"It must have been a bit awkward" she agreed.

"It was, but, oh he's great" his voice changed "Tall and skinny, and a knicks fan"

Kate chuckled softly "He'll fit right in here then"

"I hope so" Don said "He said he wants to meet the kids, and you"

"Good start" she hid her trepidation at that, she was worried about how DJ and Mollie would take this, Rosie would know no better, he'd just be someone else to charm, something that she had mastered almost from the womb.

"Do you want to?" he asked bluntly.

"I told you" she said patiently "If he wants to be, and you want him to be, he'll be a part of the family. But don't expect it to be plain sailing where Mollie and DJ are concerned, you know how jealous she gets about the brother and sister that live here, not to mention me, where you are concerned. And DJ, well he's going to find it hard you know, he feels protective towards the girls, sees himself as a smaller version of you, he might feel intimidated by an older kid spending time with you"

"You've obviously given it some thought" he murmured.

"Yes I have" she replied "Because I want it to work, we _need_ it to work"

"I know" he agreed.

"Next time we're all together, I think we need to tell them, prepare them before they meet him" she said.

"Yes" he felt torn, on the one hand he wanted to bring Matthew into his life as fully and quickly as possible, on the other he knew what Kate said was right, and he'd have to show his other kids that they meant just as much as they did before, be careful not to push them out.

"How are you feeling about it all?" she ventured.

"Optimistic" he answered "I think it may be OK, he seems well adjusted and mature, but underneath I think he's as scared as me"

"He will be" she agreed.

"I'm still so mad at Gavin" he said, voice becoming harder, angry "And Lexi, and Sue. I keep telling myself to get over it, that now is what matters but, I can't seem to let go of what they did"

"They will have to accept that" Kate replied quietly "_I_ am furious too, the way this has been dropped on you, seeing you hurting, I hate it, and I'm mad as hell that someone did this to you"

"I know you are" he hugged her closer "I just hope that I can put it to one side, I don't want it ruining things"

"You won't let it, it's too important" Kate told him "Though if someone had done this to _me_, I don't think I could be as forgiving as you"

Don laughed "If you'd heard what I said to Gavin, it wasn't forgiving, by any stretch of the imagination. And I'd like to think you might have noticed having another baby fourteen years ago"

"Funny guy you are" she said dryly.

"Well" he said with a chuckle "After the fuss you made having the other three..."

She dug him in the ribs with her elbow, laughing, relieved that he'd taken the conversation a bit lighter.

"Fuss?!" she said with amused irritation "You try it!"

"If I could, I would" he kissed her shoulder and she felt her body relax "As much as I loved seeing you pregnant, watching you have them, you being in all that pain when I couldn't do anything, was horrible"

"They're worth it" she sighed.

"Yeah" he agreed sleepily "They are"


	10. Chapter 9

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 9

It had been four days since Don had met Matthew for the first time, and he was becoming distinctly edgy. What was the protocol in this situation? He was damned if he knew.

Together he and Kate had sat the children down and told them. Their reactions were not unexpected.

_Mollie frowned at Kate, the news that she had another brother distinctly confusing._

"_But he's already out?" she asked, poking at Kate's stomach "You got real fat when Rosie was in there, why didn't you get fat again mommy?"_

"_Because I'm not Matthews mommy" Kate replied._

"_Why?" such a simple and childish question but one that had both adults stumped for a moment or two. _

_Finally Don answered "Matthew had another mommy" he said._

"_Does that mean you had another wife?" DJ asked, he'd been quiet so far, digesting the information._

"_No" Don replied "I had another girlfriend, a long time before I married mom"_

"_So where is he?" Mollie looked comically around the room, as if expecting Matthew to pop out from behind the curtains._

_Kate laughed "He lives with his Grandma and Grandpa" she explained "There was a bit of a mix up and daddy didn't know about Matthew until a few days ago"_

"_Well that's just _silly"_ Mollie snorted._

"_A bit yes" Don replied, out of the mouths of babes and all that._

"_So why does he live with Grandma and Grandpa?" Mollie questioned "I've never seen him there"_

"_Not _your_ Grandma and Grandpa" Kate said "He has another Grandma and Grandpa"_

"_Huh" Mollie looked like another question was forming and then changed her mind. Both her parents knew it was a lot to ask to understand the situation for a 5 year old, and they'd tried to keep it as simple as possible._

"_Deej?" Don turned to him, the quiet and the brooding look had him worried._

"_What?" the boy replied._

"_You wanna ask anything?" Don prompted._

"_Is he coming to live here?"_

"_No" Don said "We're all just going to get to know each other"_

"_How old is he?"_

"_Fourteen" he replied._

"_Where's his mom?"_

"_She...died, a little while ago" Don explained._

_Kate observed the conversation, watching her husband be interrogated by their son was hard and amusing at the same time, DJ obviously had the 'cop' gene._

"_When will we meet him?" DJ fired again._

"_When and if you want to" Kate said, noting the panic forming on Don's face "Dad already met him, a few days ago, he would like to meet you"_

"_Just me or all of us?"_

_Oh God, Kate thought,I'm on the receiving end now._

"_All of us, the whole family" Don jumped in "He didn't know about us either"_

"_I'd like to meet him" DJ decided "Can he play hockey?"_

"_I don't know" Don smiled with relief "That's one of the things we'll find out"_

"_Daddy?!" Mollie demanded "Can I have some sweets?"_

_Don rolled his eyes, she'd got bored with the subject already._

Don picked up his cell again, he'd typed several messages, and then deleted them all. Had decided to wait until Matthew contacted him, then changed his mind and figured as he was the adult, it was his responsibility. And back again to letting Matthew make the next move.

He typed another message, read it and deleted it. Looking up from his desk at work he caught the tail end of a news broadcast, it featured the Knicks. He frowned at the screen and then turned to his computer, navigating his way through to the Knicks up coming games.

He then typed a new text and sent it before he had time to back out. He put the cell back in his pocket and cleared the computer screen, going back to what he'd been trying to work on before, the case he'd attended this morning of a body dragged out of the Hudson on his patch. They'd got an ID and the crime lab were doing their bit, his main job right now was tracing the woman's movements and trying to find _someone_ that has seen her between leaving work at 5pm the day before and a small pleasure boat pulling her out the river at 8am this morning. Cases involving the river got to him these days, especially women. He knew what it was like to be on the receiving end.

…...

"Hi" Matthew once again seemed to appear from nowhere in front of the Knicks stadium.

"Oh, hi!" Don replied, glancing from son to son "Matthew, this is DJ. Deej, this is Matthew"

"Pleased to meet you DJ" Matthew held his hand out and immediately DJ took it, and shook it.

"And you" DJ nodded, his demeanour was aloof and reserved but Don knew him well enough to know it was nerves. His cell buzzed, _again_. He didn't even bother to look, he knew it would be Kate, stressing that they were all OK, that DJ and Matthew hadn't taken an instant dislike to each other and had Don asked him about dinner yet?

"You gonna get that?" DJ asked his father.

"It'll be your mom" Don said "Checking up on us, _again_"

Matthew laughed and DJ gave him a speculative look.

"She's a bit of a stress head my mom" DJ said finally. Don let out a breath, the tone had changed, shoulders relaxed. He thought maybe it would be OK.

"Shall we?" he said, gesturing the way in front of him.

…...

Kate was speechless. She looked, wide eyed up the stairs at the back of two kids that had shot through the front door and straight into DJ's bedroom, laughing. She turned to Don as he came into the house and closed the door behind him.

"I take it they get on then?" she asked, he looked happy, and relaxed. A change from recent days, she liked it.

He nodded, chuckling "Haven't got a word in since the first three pointer"

"Oh" she said.

He chuckled again "They're fine. Honestly"

"But they just met..." Kate protested "Which is more than I have got to do!"

Don put his hands on her shoulders, smiling "There's nothing like a hoop and a ball to get guys together"

"Hmmm" she replied, saved from saying more by the thundering of feet coming back down the stairs.

"Hey mom" DJ paused, his hair was ruffled and he looked excited "We're gonna go play some ball" and he shot for the door.

"You mind if I meet Matthew first?" she called.

"Oh" DJ turned, he'd been so caught up in it all he'd completely forgotten that Matthew was a newcomer to the family.

"Hi" Kate said to the taller of the two "I'm Kate"

"I guessed" a cheeky grin told her "I figured Mollie and Rosie would be shorter"

"Mo-om" DJ pleaded.

"Go on" she told them, Matthew was obviously as desperate to get outside and emulate the game they had just seen as DJ "We can all meet properly at dinner, is there anything you don't like Matthew?"

"Nah" he replied "I eat most stuff"

DJ gave her a winning smile and some of her misgivings were eased, she watched them go and turned to Don.

"Your son all right" she snorted "Eats anything and full of witty comments"

…...

Dinner was a noisy affair, Mollie vying hard for Matthew's attention. She was on best behaviour, under threat of no sweets, no tv and no Grandpa if she misbehaved. Kate needn't have worried, she obviously intended to only show Matthew her sweet side, tonight anyway.

They had played Monopoly after, Kate trying to get into the swing of it, but it wasn't something she enjoyed. She was bankrupt before long and excused herself to bath Rosie and put her to bed.

"Come on you" she picked the infant from Don's lap where he'd been holding her, constantly pulling things out of her hands as she tried to shove them in her mouth.

Rosie arched her back in protest, holding her arms back out to Don and whining. She rarely cried properly, but she _was_ a Flack, she made her feelings known.

"Come on" Kate cajoled, tickling her. Rosie started to smile again. If DJ took after Don, and Mollie Kate, then Rosie was bang in the middle. She could let rip when she wanted to, but seemed to have inherited the best from both their characters, and was incurably inquisitive.

"Wave night night" Kate urged and she did, pink cheeks and drooping eyelids watched them over Kate's shoulder as she was carried from the room, still waving her hand.

On her return she heard Don speaking sharply, quickening her step to the lounge she saw DJ and Matthew to one side, both looking like they'd rather be anywhere else, and Don crouched in front of Mollie, who had a thundercloud expression and tears running down her face.

"Now stop" she heard him say "You are being silly, it's far too late for you to be out, you stay here with mommy"

"Mommy!" she sobbed "Daddy is...is taking M-Matthew home and D-DJ get's to go and I d-don't! It's not fair!"

Kate gave Don a sharp look which he ignored "Come on Mollie" Kate said quietly "Me and you can have a bath and snuggle in mommy's bed until they get back?"

The devastated look on his daughters face broke Don's heart as she nodded and took Kate's outstretched hand.

"I'll be back soon" Don told her, still ignoring Kate. He'd seen her face and knew she wasn't impressed with how he'd dealt with things.

"Will you come to see me again?" Mollie's big brown eyes pleaded with Matthew.

"If you'd like" he said kindly "I had a lot of fun today"

"Yes!" she said immediately "Can he mommy?"

"Of course" Kate assured her "Any time he wants"

"Thank you" Matthew said "And thank you for dinner"

"You're welcome" she told him, sincerely. She had spent most of the day thinking how much of a big deal this must have been for him. It would have been for anyone, never mind a fourteen year old. But he'd handled it well, and had been very natural, he didn't retreat into his shell or put up a front, he was who he was. And they liked him.

"Sorry" Don whispered as he walked past her "I didn't think"

"It's fine" Kate swallowed the bit of resentment she felt, he _was_ right, it was too late for Mollie to be out, but she felt he could have handled it better.

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek "Well done, you did great today" she whispered, rewarded by a wonderful smile.


	11. Chapter 10

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 10

A month had passed since Matthew Moran had met his 'new' family. Things had continued in much the same way as they had from the start. Matthew had found himself thrown into the role of older brother and after many years of being the youngest, he loved it.

He was a private soul, and only those closest to him knew about the upheaval that had begun the day he was told that the woman he thought was his sister had died. It had kick started a chain of events that no one, except maybe two people, could have foreseen ever happening.

Matthew was happy, he was happy that he'd found out, and happy that he'd had the guts to find his father and meet him. Further to that, he had been surprised and touched at the welcome he'd received into the family as a whole. He'd always felt slightly mollycoddled at home, yet when he visited the Flack household he was the one who guided, the one the younger children looked up to.

As much as he liked spending time with his new siblings, he cherished spending time alone, with Don. Being older and closer to the precinct than the others, it opened up the scope for them to spend time together without pushing anyone out. Through this Matthew had met some of Don's friends and co workers. His favourite without a doubt was Lindsay, but, as Don had lightly teased him, maybe that was because she was the mother of a rather pretty and vivacious teenage girl. Matthew had denied it, but secretly, he knew Don was right.

Although wary of him at first, he'd also liked Danny right from the start, with his quip about needing to set the record straight. Danny had conceded best man status to Mac at Don's wedding for the title of Godparent to his first child. Danny had told Matthew that regardless of the circumstances, he should now be considered an 'honorary' Godparent, and to not hesitate, should he need girl advice, because his father was useless. Don had been unimpressed by that, and shot a witty comment back about managing just fine and falling under the thumb a hell of a lot later than Danny himself had. It had made Matthew feel grown up to be involved in adult banter like this.

He was also charmed by Sam. He now felt extremely awkward, having developed a typical teenage crush at first sight on her. He was decidedly disappointed to be introduced to his aunt, but he was managing to keep a lid on it. Don's parents had been a bit overwhelming, well Maria had been. She had cried and hugged and cried some more. His grandfather, confusingly also called Donald, had amused him with the sighing and eye rolling at his wife's emotional display. He'd shook the young man's hand and talked to him about school, college and the future.

All in all it had been a pretty smooth transition and Matthew found himself accepted and loved with the Flack family as he did the Moran family. And that was the sticking point.

Matthew had a huge amount of guilt he carried with him every time he returned from spending time with Don. He didn't love the man and woman that had brought him up any less than before he knew, but he viewed them differently. He had a bubbling resentment under the surface for them, for the fact that had everyone been honest, he could have had a 'normal' life like everyone else. He could have known about Lexi, and had a mother/son relationship with her, and he could have had a longer and fuller relationship with Don. He resented that someone had taken that away, but he also felt terribly guilty at enjoying the new side to his life. He felt as if he was leaving Gavin and Sue behind, like they would think they didn't matter any more, and they so did. Still, regardless of the recent revelations, he thought of them as parents, as his stability, the ones he trusted.

Having spoken to Gavin of his misgivings, Gavin had also admitted that he felt slightly left out, but Matthew should not worry about that, he was after all entitled to know his family and he'd always known that one day this would happen. He'd said that it wasn't Matthew at fault and that he, Gavin, was pleased and relieved that both Matthew and Don had started to form a relationship. When Matthew told him it didn't change his feelings toward Gavin, Gavin had replied that in his own head, Matthew would always be his son, and he would _always_ be there for him, no matter what.

Matthew couldn't work out Sue's feelings. She never complained, never asked him not to go, but she also didn't seem interested in the things he'd done, the way he was getting to know his family as Gavin was. As his mother, because he couldn't think of her any other way, it was hugely important to him that she be at peace with it all. He would always love her, and unlike Gavin, she didn't have anyone to 'take her place' as Matthew thought of it. Lexi was gone, and Sue was the only mother he had ever, and now would ever, know.

He felt the guilt more keenly where Sue was concerned, but being unwilling to open a can of worms, he left it be. He hoped it was grief at losing Lexi and feeling unsure about his new family.

Overall, Matthew continued with his life, he went to school and back again. He spent time at home, got complained at about his room always being untidy and had teenage moods. He spent time with his new family, and his old, fitting the two together the best he could.

…...

Don's life also seemed to be fairly balanced. For once work was quite calm, no overloading of cases and his paperwork was slightly more under control than usual. He had a feeling that 'word' had got round about Matthew. Not in the sense of mindless gossip, but that his friends were doing what they could to ease his workload. For the Captain, Flack was his 'go to' guy. The one who he gave the harder cases to, who he partnered with the new detectives he felt needed more of a kick in the ass than a softly softly approach. However, recently, Don had found himself drawn into the office for a 'favour' or asked to take over a difficult case, less.

Home life was was how it had always been, up and down. There were shouting matches and long silences, rushing around and never seeming to have everything together, but that was normal. He tried to support Kate, tried not to mind her withdrawal from his advances in the bedroom and not show his frustration too much. Her mood swings were slightly better, having got some medication reluctantly from the doctor, but they had been warned that it could take a little while to work. In return he had been pleasantly surprised that she accepted Matthew so easily and most of the time, he knew she was sincere. There were times when she would not so gently remind him he had three other children, and a wife, that needed him too, and after the inevitable row, he would see that she was probably right (not that he would admit it!) and try and make up for it.

He was starting to love Matthew for who he was. After the shock had worn off, the initial feelings of needing to make up for not being there, Don started to relax. He was feeling less and less insecure about his shortcomings as a father and just focused on getting to know the person his son was. They spent time together alone, and as a family, and Don had accepted that he could do nothing about the past, his job now was to keep the future, and to make sure Matthew knew that he loved him, and that was enough for now.

…...

Don slept, all be it on the sofa, he'd been off, all day. He'd spent it seemingly running from one child's demands to the next, constantly feeding someone and cleaning up. He was exhausted.

He started awake as Skate scrambled to get from his place laying across him and rushed to the back door, whining. Don was glad for the dog's warning, it was one of the things Kate moaned at him for, letting Skate onto the furniture.

Wandering through the kitchen he greeted Kate with a bright smile, that she saw straight through.

"Hey" he said "Good day?"

"Yuh, not a bad one anyway" she replied "You? How long you been crashed on the sofa?"

"I...I wasn't!" he defended "I heard your car, making you some coffee"

"Right" she snorted with laughter "I'm a half hour late, no text making sure I'm not dead in a ditch. You are also covered in dog hair and have the imprint of the sofa cushion on you face. Wanna try that again?"

"Huh" he laughed reluctantly "Fine, I _was_ asleep"

Kate laughed "They're exhausting aren't they, our darling children?"

"God Kate" he said wide eyed "They're like a tag team! Soon as one is sorted, another starts!"

"Well, if they're vaguely clean, have been fed and the house is still standing, then you did a good job" she said with a smile.

He chuckled "Hmmm"

"So" she looked at him "I've been thinking"

"Well done" he said with a witty grin "I _knew_ you could do it!"

"Hate it when I get the better of you don't you?" she grinned.

"Dunno what you mean" he shrugged, laughing "But anyway, what have you been thinking?"

"About our vacation" she said in a thoughtful voice.

"Florida?" he asked "It's all sorted, paid up, stop worrying"

"I'm not worried" she replied with a sly smile "I checked, you don't think I'd trust you without checking you hadn't forgotten, do you?"

"That hurts" he said, giving her a look whilst putting his hand over his heart.

"Whatever" she waved his sarcasm away "Is it to late to adjust the booking?"

"Don't know" he shrugged "Why?"

"I thought you might like to invite Matthew" she said, looking him straight in the eye. She saw surprise followed by pleasure go across his expression and realised that even if he had thought about it, he had dismissed it as an option.

"Yes" he grinned at her "I think I would"

"Then see if we can" she said simply.


	12. Chapter 11

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 11

"So what do you think?" Don asked Matthew as they drove slowly along the street that the Moran's lived on.

"I think it'd be great!" Matthew said "I can't wait! Never been to Florida!"

"Loads to do" Don enthused "We're gonna be going just about everywhere, and of course, it's not in school time, so no problems there"

"Are you sure?" Matthew asked "Isn't it your family vacation? Won't Kate mind?"

"It was Kate's idea" Don said quietly "You _are_ part of the family, or at least I like to think you are"

"I...Yeah" Matthew was momentarily stunned.

"Sorry" Don felt contrite, like he'd pushed too far. It could be one of his faults, wanting everything too fast for others to be comfortable with "Too much?"

"No, no" Matthew said "I just, I like it"

"Good" Don looked away. Both of them did.

"You'll need to check with Gavin and Sue" Don reminded him. He still couldn't bring himself to call them Matthew's mom and dad, and out of respect as he knew Matthew did call them mom and dad, he didn't call them grandma and grandpa either. He stuck to Gavin and Sue.

"They'll be fine" Matthew assured him, hiding his fear that actually they may not be. He could sense Sue withdrawing further and further away from him, from everyone recently. But he _really_ wanted to go, and he wouldn't let anything ruin it for him.

"Let me know" Don said as Matthew opened the car door to get out "And I can book you in straight away"

"I will" he smiled at his father, he found it awkward to call him 'dad'. He had found himself _wanting_ to think of Don in those terms, and he already referred to DJ, Mollie and Rosie as his brother and sisters. Don had said more than once he didn't care, but Matthew did.

"I'd better go back to work" Don said.

"OK" Matthew stepped out of the car "See you Tuesday? For the game?"

"Sure" Don smiled "Look forward to it"

Don drove back towards the precinct, his thoughts turned to the case he was working with Danny and Jo, the third female body to be pulled out of the Hudson in a month. It was his only case, and he was thankful, it was starting to look like they had a serial on the loose that liked sexually assaulting women before strangling them and dumping the body in the river.

As he mulled through the suspect list in his mind he thought that it was a weak one, there was something here they were missing. His cell started to ring, checking the display he pressed the answer button.

"Flack"

"Hey buddy, you want some good news?" he heard Danny's tones fill the car.

"Always" Don replied.

"I got mitochondrial DNA from the last vic, enhanced it, or at least Adam did, he has a knack with the mas-spec, along with some pretty nifty DNA reconstruction, we got something we can work with" Danny told him.

"And..." Don led.

"Sorry, I forget you don't get science" Danny teased.

"I get science" Don retorted "It's the fact you guys use those ridiculously long words when shorter ones will do I don't get"

Danny laughed "OK, I have a name, an address and ESU meeting you and Jo there"

"Language I understand" Don approved "Send me the address"

…...

Two hours and one arrest later Don was standing at the side of the road outside the precinct with a look of pure disgust on his face.

The vomit dripped from his shirt onto his shoes.

"My God!" he fumed.

"Sorry man" The suspect slurred at him "I did warn ya all I didn't feel so good"

"Get him to a doctor" he snapped at the uniform who arrived to assist, directing a look of 'You dare' at Jo, trying hard not to laugh her head off.

"If you're drunk..." he slammed at the suspect "I swear..." he left the threat open ended.

"Well, looks like it'll be tomorrow morning before we can speak to him" Jo spoke to somewhere along the street, terrified she'd start laughing if she looked at Flack again.

"Oh just get it over with Jo" Don said, his tone resigned "Have a good laugh"

Jo attempted to straighten her face and failed. When she did look at him, laughter bubbled up inside her.

"Don't expect any sympathy when you get puked on" he muttered.

_"I'm_ too quick" Jo chuckled "You didn't move fast enough"

"Is there a charge for puking on a police officer?" he asked her as they entered the precinct "I'm gonna check on that"

"Might wanna get changed and have a shower first" she said, leaning away from him "You stink"

"I am _well_ aware of that" he replied, deadpan.

"I'll see you here bright and early" Jo beamed at him "We can knock the hangover out of him"

"You said it" he agreed "See ya"

"Oh Don?" she called after him, grinning as he turned "You got some in your hair by the way"

"I _really_ didn't need to know that" he grumbled, turning away again and heading for the locker room.

Getting home he found something rare and precious, silence. It wasn't often he got the house to himself. The kids would be with his parents for at least another half hour and Kate was due in soon, but for now he had peace and quiet, and he revelled in it.

Still sure he could smell vomit he removed his spare set of clothes from the precinct where he'd already showered once, and stepped under the powerful, hot shower in the small bathroom off his bedroom.

…...

"Hello?" Kate answered the house phone breathlessly, it had started ringing as she started on the stairs, darting into her bedroom she grabbed at it.

"Kate?" it was Danny "Bad time?" he chuckled.

"No, you just made me run up the stairs" she said, her breath was back now.

"Sure" he said suggestively "Don there? Though you're gonna need that stairs excuse if he ain't"

"Don't be such an ass" she chuckled "He's in the shower, I think, I just got home"

"Right" Danny laughed "Get him to call me? I need to ask him something important about this case"

"Hang on" she said "Showers just gone off, think he's done" she moved the phone "Don?"

"Yeah?"

"'Phone, Danny, about work" she informed him.

He came through to the bedroom, obviously having grabbed the first towel he could find. He took the cordless as she looked, it was a hand towel, it didn't cover a lot.

She barely heard the conversation as she swallowed and moved around the bedroom, trying not to notice the water dripping down his chest. He turned away from her and her mouth went dry as he readjusted the towel, she had the best of both worlds, he was facing the mirror.

Don felt her watching him from behind and met her eyes with his own through the mirror, grinning slightly and raising his eyebrows as he caught her staring. She gave him a cheeky smile in return, brazen in her appraisal of his body.

Heading for the recently vacated shower she stripped her clothes off.

"Christ" she muttered to herself as rather than slowing back to normal, her heart rate increased at the memory of his reflection, and the thoughts now running through her mind. Setting the water to cool she stepped into the shower to wash the day away, knowing that Don's parents would arrive soon to bring the children home she tried to concentrate on something else. It wasn't easy. This wasn't the first time since starting the course of tablets from the doctor she'd felt certain stirrings, along with improvements in other symptoms, but nothing like this, for what seemed like a very long time. They'd not done _anything_ in about a month, which _was_ a long time for them.

Suddenly the shower curtain was pulled back and Don grinned at her.

"What?" she demanded.

"Don't you what me" he said "I saw you checkin' me out"

She shrugged "I'm allowed to, you're my husband"

"Hmmm" he replied, reaching a hand in "Cold shower too"

"I'm hot" she replied, immediately regretting it as he laughed again.

"I'll say"

She bit her lip as he backed up his statement with an appraisal of his own. Kate looked back, he really wasn't helping.

"Tablets kicked in then huh?!" he teased.

"Maybe" she shrugged.

"Maybe my ass" he growled, grabbing her arm and yanking her out of the shower and against him. The action caused his towel to drop and that was it, she launched herself at him, taking him by surprise, all thought of parents and children driven from her mind.

They stumbled towards the bed, Don falling backwards onto it as Kate scrambled to stay as close as she could. They both burst out laughing as they slipped and ended up on the floor.

"Geez babe" he said through his laughter "Steady!"

"No" she shot back "_Now_"

Kate laughed again as he tickled her lightly, his fingers moving to more sensitive places and the laugh changed to a moan.

"Wow" Don smirked as he rolled her over "They _are_ good"

"Shut up!" she whined "It's been ages!"

"Oh I know" he replied, letting his control snap as Kate whimpered and groaned beneath him.


	13. Chapter 12

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 12

Donald Flack senior whistled as he carried a sleepy Rosie up the path to the front door of his son's home. He heard combined laughter clearly through an open front upstairs window, DJ's room, and figured Kate and Don were upstairs.

Unlocking the door with his key he pushed it open and stepped inside, stopping as more noises from upstairs grabbed his attention. He stepped back out, locked the door and headed back to his car, meeting his wife and two other grandchildren on the way.

"Did you forget the key again?!" Maria demanded "Though both cars are here, just knock"

"I left the key at home" Donald senior fibbed, loudly, standing in her path "We'll have to go get it, I knocked, they're probably out with the dogs"

"Honestly!" Maria chided as the group turned around and headed back.

"Can we stay with you then Grandpa?" Mollie asked, her expression set to appealing charm.

"I don't see why not" he ran a hand over her curly blonde hair "Grandma?"

"Yes, yes" she said impatiently "It's not a problem, save us driving back seeing as silly Grandpa forgot the keys again!"

"Yay!" Mollie clapped and DJ made a fist, punching the air.

"Yesss" he said, he loved spending time with his grandparents, he adored them both, and more than that, was spoilt rotten by both, as all three were.

They loaded the children into the car again, and Maria faced Donald with a suspicious look over the roof of the car as Dolly started to bark from the garage.

"Taken the dogs out?" she asked with sarcasm.

"Just drop it Maria" he warned.

"Were they fighting?" she demanded.

"Far from it!" he laughed getting into the car.

Maria sat next to him huffily "What's going on?"

Donald gave her a sideways look and smirked "Nothing!"

"Hmmm" she replied with a furrowed brow.

About an hour later, Donald senior managed to finally send the text message he'd constructed with difficulty, telling a still disbelieving Maria he'd already spoken to their son and told him what had happened and it was fine for the children to stay.

…...

Don picked his cell up as a message beeped through, hoping to everything he could think of it wasn't work. It wasn't.

He read the message twice, his face colouring slightly as he started to laugh.

"Who's that?" Kate asked.

"My dad" he laughed, handing her the phone.

"A text?" she said, surprised "He's getting to grips with this technology!"

She also coloured as she read it.

_Brought children home, you were 'busy'. Told your mother I forgot the keys. They can stay here tonight. By the way son, might want to shut your front windows street gets a bit busy, noise can carry! Dad. _

"Oh my God!" she gasped "They heard us!"

Don laughed louder "Well _he_ did" he said "Good guy my dad"

Kate clapped her hand over her mouth "Oh this is _so_ embarrassing!"

"It's fine" Don pulled her close and nuzzled at her neck "And they're keeping the kids, so we can go make some more noise"

"In a minute!" she said, pulling away "I'm gonna shut the damned windows first!"

…...

Don chuckled to himself and laid a lazy hand on Kate's thigh as he drove.

"Straighten your face" he said "Misery"

"I'm not miserable!" she retorted "I'm _embarrassed_! And you should be too!"

"I think" he said checking the rear mirror with a smirk "That my dad had already worked out we have sex, there's living proof in the back seat"

"Don!" she chided, twisting to check the children hadn't heard him.

"What?" he laughed "They're gonna work it out one day too"

"Shut up" she grumbled.

"My dad just likes to wind people up" he replied "You know he does, and I have to admit, it's kinda easy with you sometimes"

"He had that look" she sulked "Like the one after I first met him and had him face down in the kitchen because _someone_ neglected to tell me he was staying"

Don laughed again "What does it matter? It's not like he walked in. And we have him to thank for the fact no one else walked in" he gave a small, theatrical shudder "Now my mother walking into the bedroom, _that_ would have been embarrassing"

"Don't underestimate her" Kate gave him an amused look "She's pretty clued up, your mom"

"What?" it was his turn to feel uncomfortable, as intended.

"She gave me some great advice a couple of weeks before we got married" Kate continued with a smile, she loved turning the tables on him and wiping the smug grin off his face.

"I don't think I want to know" he muttered.

"She told me that if you were anything like your father..." she stopped, enjoying the look of horror on his face.

"Now I'm _sure_ I don't want to know" he huffed, removing his hand from her leg to manoeuvre the car.

"Quits?" she offered with a laugh.

"Quits" he agreed.

A few moments later Don's cell buzzed with a message.

"Get that babe?" he asked "If it's work tell them I'm dead or somethin'"

Kate laughed and picked the cell up "What if it's another woman?" she teased.

"I don't have _time_ for a bit on the side" he retorted with a sideways glance "And if I did, after last night I don't have the energy"

"Wore you out huh?" she quipped.

"Yeah, for now" he grinned "But if it is, obviously tell her I'm unavailable would you?"

"Sure"Kate said as she opened the message "From Matthew"

"Uh?" Don prompted.

"He says if it's still OK, he can come to Florida" she read from the screen and then looked at Don "That's good"

He didn't get chance to reply as two voices from the back seat competed to be heard.

"Is Matthew coming to Disneyworld?!" Mollie said, straining against her belt.

"Can me and him share a room?" DJ said, his face set to his best appealing look "_Please_"

"No!" Mollie yelled "I want Matthew to sleep in _my_ room!"

"Hey" Don held a hand up between the front seats, flicking a look through the mirror at the children. Mollie was leaning across Rosie in her seat in the centre trying to thump DJ, DJ was fending her off with one arm whilst trying to make his case. Rosie sat in the middle of them, happily chewing on her fists and babbling to herself.

"Hey!" Don said again, louder. Both children froze, they were used to him yelling, but _that_ tone meant business.

"That is **enough**!" he said "Now, Matthew is coming with us and mom and I will work the details out, so quit, now!" he looked in the mirror again "Mollie!" he warned.

She sulked, crossing her arms and dropping her head. Un seen, DJ poked his tongue out at her and leaned on the window with a huge smile.

Silence reigned until Don noticed Kate's expression.

"What?" he asked, confused at what she may find amusing.

"I love it when you're masterful" she gave a fake swoon before bursting out laughing.

"Shut it Krazy" he rolled his eyes but laughed at the same time, smiling at her and replacing the hand on her leg with a light squeeze.

"Day after tomorrow" she grinned at him "And two whole weeks of nothing but fun"

"Uh huh!" he grinned back "Last day at work tomorrow, New York can wait a couple a weeks for it's finest detective"

"Such an appealing quality" Kate rolled her eyes "Modesty"


	14. Chapter 13

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 13

Kate frowned as she handed more bags to Don "Where's your stuff?"

He didn't answer, just squared his shoulders.

"You haven't packed yet have you?!" she accused.

"It's fine" he said "I'll throw some stuff in a bag when I get back"

"You are supposed to be picking Matthew up in 30 minutes!" she raged at him "And we have to check in by 4!"

"Stop stressing woman!" he snapped "I only got in from work at midnight for God's sake!"

"You ain't seen stressed yet!" she retorted "I've washed, dried and packed me, and all three kids. Washed and dried all your stuff, tidied the house. Taken both dogs to the kennels. Cancelled everything, made sure we have everything we need, and what you done huh? _Played_ all damned day with the kids! We have a plane to catch!"

"We agreed that's what we'd do!" he retorted "Some of us had to work yesterday, you know keep the justice on the streets! So don't start, you didn't trust me to get everything ready, so suck it up!"

She slammed the door of the people carrier angrily. Facing him with folded arms.

"You're _useless_!" she spat "_One_ thing you had to do and can you? No!"

"Don't forget who arranged the fuckin' vacation in the first place!"

"Just go and get Matthew" she snarled "_I'll_ pack your stuff. I've done every damned thing else!"

"Fine" he stormed back into the house, grabbed the keys to his own car and pushed his way past her as she stood in the doorway.

"Hurry up" she ordered as he got in, receiving a filthy look in return.

…...

Don had calmed down by the time he reached the Moran's. Stepping through the pretty garden he reached out a hand to tap on the door. Despite the row with Kate, he was excited and looking forward to two weeks with his family, with no disruptions from work or anything else. Away from the humdrum of normal life, where they could all just relax. He knew she'd have calmed down when he got home, they often had what sounded like a huge argument and a half hour later were fine again.

Tapping on the door he noticed it was open, and stepped forward. He stopped, slightly unsure, hearing raised and angry voices. Protective instinct, a life time of being a police officer, and curiosity made him inch carefully forward.

Making his way into the lounge, his heart almost stopped at what confronted him.

"Sue, put the gun down" Gavin said quietly.

"No!" her hand shook as tears poured down her face "He's all I have left! Do you _honestly_ think that I took you back for any other reason than Mattie?" she shrieked "After what you did?"

"I know it was for him" Moran soothed "I know that"

"And now you've taken him from me too!" she howled, grief and pain pouring out.

"No one is taking me away mom" Matthew said quietly.

"Yes they are!" she replied "You found your dad, your _real_ dad. Your family, they're going to take you away! And _he_ made it happen! He did it!"

"No Sue we're not" Don said quietly "You are his family too. We just want to get to know him"

All eyes turned to the doorway, through the tension no one had heard him come in.

"And you can't do that without taking him away?" she demanded.

"It's just a holiday" Don answered her, his voice steady "It doesn't mean he's abandoning you"

"Of course it does!" she yelled back "He'll be all cosied up in a normal family, one without secrets and lies and all the baggage that goes with it! Of course he'll want to stay!"

"No mom!" Matthew cried "I just want to spend a little time with them, that's all, you said you were fine with it "

"Well I'm not!" Sue swung the gun away from Don and pointed it at Gavin with renewed intent "This is _your_ fault! You should never have come back!"

"I'll go" Gavin held his hands up "If that's what you need, I'll go"

"No!" Matthew cried "You guys love each other. This is all my fault, it's all down to me!"

"No it isn't" Don said, looking him straight in the eye "It certainly is _not_ your fault. This is because we love you and because of actions taken a long time ago, no one is at fault, we just have to deal with it now"

Sue swung the gun back to Don "Shut up!" she screamed "You talk about loving him?! Where were you when he cut his first tooth huh? Took his first steps? When his mother died? My Lexi?!"

"I wasn't there" Don admitted "But you were, which is the reason you can never be replaced"

He didn't go into _why_ he wasn't there, that would serve no purpose here, it would antagonise her further.

Sue's body shook with a massive sob and she lowered the gun, Don took a step forward, instincts telling him to get it away from her, but Matthew beat him to it, standing between him and Sue. Don twitched, this wasn't what he wanted at all, he _needed _to be in front of the boy. Sue was unstable.

"Mom" Matthew said quietly "Give me the gun"

"No" she said, raising it to aim at Gavin "He's going to pay"

"Mom no!" Matthew cried.

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

"Please" he begged "No, not like this"

She drew back the firing pin and cocked the gun, the room held it's breath as she started to squeeze the trigger slowly.

Matthew threw himself forward, colliding with Don and Sue simultaneously. Gavin launched himself into the mele. A shot rang out.

There was a heavy thud and an anguished cry as a bullet collided with a body and more muffled thud as the body hit the floor. And then pure silence.

…...

Kate dialled again, furiously.

"It's me" she snapped to the answer phone "You aren't back here in 10 minutes, I'm going to Florida _without_ you!"

"What's wrong mommy?" Mollie asked her with wide eyes.

"Your dad is late" Kate snapped "We're going to miss our plane at this rate!"

"But I want to go to Florida!" Mollie wailed "I want to see Mickey!"

"Oh we're still goin' baby" Kate assured "Daddy or no daddy!"

"But I want daddy and Matthew to come!" Mollie sniffed sadly.

"If he can't be bothered" Kate answered under her breath "Neither can I"

This was the part of his character she found hardest to live with, the side that seemed to fail to take anyone else but himself and his own needs into consideration. It didn't happen often, but she found her temper close to breaking when it did. And he always seemed to do it when it mattered most.

She fully expected him to roll up, ten minutes after they had to leave having crept off to get something he'd 'meant to' earlier. Well, she thought, he might just find she'd already left. Then he'd have to bring his own car to the airport and pay two lots of parking fees. Serve him right she decided.

Just as she snapped her seatbelt into place and started the car, she heard her cell ringing. Ignoring the bored and excited witterings from the children behind her, she fished it out of her pocket, answering it with an aggressive punch on the key.

"You better be on your way" she snapped. The cell display having told her Don was calling.

And then stopped, her face changing as she listened.

...

_A/N Firstly let me say a huge thank you to Smuffly for the reviews. And also to everyone who is reading, is following and who has favourited this story. I know, another cliffie, get used to it, there's more! Hope you enjoyed, please drop me a review and let me know :D I have updated early because I may not be around for a couple of days..._


	15. Chapter 14

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 14

Whispering, all Kate could hear was whispering. It was driving her mad.

She stared at the stark white corridor, and then at the door in front of her. And then at the doors that led to the rest of the hospital.

The nurses looked up as the doors swung open and a man strode purposefully towards them. He looked like he'd aged a lifetime in a few short hours.

Kate noticed 'the walk'. The one that any law enforcement official used when they meant business. But he wasn't any more, long retired now. But he still had the walk.

"Flack, Donald Junior" he rapped at the nurses.

"He's still in surgery sir" the senior nurse answered him.

"Progress?" he replied.

"We'll know more after the surgery" she placated "His wife is..."

"I see her" Donald senior cut her off "Thank you"

He didn't speak, just sat beside her. Kate was grateful for the quiet comfort that radiated from him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. Neither knew who it was intended to comfort more.

"The others?" Kate asked finally.

"I...I told them not to come" her father in law replied "Until we know"

Kate nodded.

"Your friends, Jo and Lindsay, they have taken the children. Danny is on his way" Donald said quietly.

Again, Kate nodded.

…...

Matthew Moran sat quietly in the squad car. His mind was blank, totally blank.

He rubbed at the black stains on his fingers. He hadn't realised that his aunt's boyfriend, Adam, worked with his father until he'd taken his fingerprints.

_His father_ Matthew thought. The man who'd lay bleeding on the lounge carpet, because of _him_. He should, they all should, be on a plane to Florida right now for the holiday of a lifetime. Instead, Don had been whisked into an ambulance by grim looking paramedics and his mom had been arrested. He and his... grandfather had been loaded into squad cars and told to wait. No one would tell him anything.

He replayed the scene in his head, over and over. It never got better.

_Matthew had felt the force of the bullet slam into Don, a millisecond earlier and it would have been him, in the struggle to get the gun from Sue. He stared as blood pooled around Don's body onto the carpet, he couldn't move, couldn't speak. _

_Gavin had grabbed the gun from Sue, securing it. Kneeling next to Don he was amazed to find vital signs, and tried to stem the bleeding with the couch blanket, screaming at them both to call an ambulance. _

_Matthew had jumped into action, puling his cell from his pocket and dialling. Backing away from the horror in front of him. Speaking in hushed tones he told the operator what had happened, and where to go. Having to back further away as Sue started to scream, a loud and terrifying noise when she realised what she had done. _

"_Sue!" Gavin yelled "Sue shut up! Get me some towels!"_

_But she was lost, totally lost in her own head. It wasn't Don on the floor, it was Lexi, and then it was Matthew. The wild look in her eyes was frightening. _

_There was nothing they could do. Sue sank to the floor, sobbing. Gavin tried to desperately help Don hold onto what little bit of life he still had, and Matthew stared. _

And here he was, sitting in the squad car, awaiting his fate.

…...

"I got a hold of Mac" Sheldon announced as he stood over Danny, crouched on the floor collecting trace evidence. Danny looked up and he continued.

"He's asked me to go to the hospital" he said quietly "He said he'll get there as soon as he can"

Danny nodded and turned back to what he was doing. Something caught his eye under the couch, it was a cell. Reaching in and retrieving it carefully he realised it was Don's. Probably fallen from his pocket and kicked under by someone.

Pressing a few buttons he saw the last call was to Kate. He thought a moment, it was _after_ the 911 call was placed. Someone from here had called her.

He lifted prints from it and placed it carefully in an evidence bag.

"If you've got the prints" Sheldon said kindly "I don't think there'll be any other reason it's needed"

Danny stood, head hung and fists clenched, tears in his eyes.

He squeezed his eyes tight and took a deep shaky breath.

Sheldon took the phone carefully and slid it onto his pocket "Mac has requested another team. It's pretty much all said and done, Matthew's grandmother tried to turn the gun on her husband, Don tried to get it off her"

Danny sighed his breath out and met his companions eyes, seeing the same depth of sadness there as he knew was in his own.

"Come with me?" Sheldon offered "You're one of his oldest friends"

Danny nodded and followed him out to the waiting car.

…...

"But Lindsay" Mollie asked her "_When_ can we go to Florida?"

"I don't know honey" Lindsay told her quietly, returning Jo's meaningful look.

"Is it because Daddy's an ass?" she asked with childhood innocence.

Lindsay smiled a sad smile "That's not a nice thing to say"

"Mommy says it all the time" she shrugged.

Jo turned to DJ, he looked small and frightened on the couch in Mac's office.

"You OK there?" she asked gently, taking a seat next to him.

"What's happened?" he asked, his expression reminding her painfully of Don at that moment.

"There was an accident" Jo explained.

"I know that" DJ answered her "With my dad, what _kind_ of accident?"

Jo took a deep breath "He was shot"

"Oh" DJ looked away "Is he dead?"

"No!" Mollie didn't look as though she'd been listening, but obviously she had been "My daddy isn't dead! We're going to Florida!"

Lindsay grabbed her as she launched in fury at DJ.

"He's not dead!" Jo almost yelled over the noise of two children crying.

XxxxXX

An hour later, Lindsay looked up as Jo came back into the office with two mugs of coffee. Mollie slept in her arms while DJ was curled up on the couch in an uneasy sleep.

"Anything?" Jo asked her hopefully.

Lindsay shook her head "No"

"They'll call" Jo perched next to DJ "As soon as they can tell us anything"

"He has a bullet in him Jo" Lindsay sighed.

"I know" Jo looked down.

…...

Mac Taylor placed a hand on Matthew's shoulder. The boy looked wretched.

"How is he?" Matthew didn't want to ask, because he feared the answer. But he needed to know.

"That's what we're going to find out" Mac answered, his tones deliberately reassuring.

"Are you taking me to the hospital?" Matthew asked, terrified.

"If you want to go" Mac stopped by the car and faced him.

"No" the boy backed away "It's my fault! If I hadn't said I'd go, or wanted to meet him...none of this would ever have happened!"

"Matthew the police have released you" Mac tried to calm him "Your mom is in need of some help, she didn't shoot anyone on purpose, we know that"

"She wanted to shoot my dad" Matthew muttered "But I got in the way, that's why Don..." he paused again "But I knew" he replied in a breathy whisper "I knew she didn't want me to go"

"You're not responsible for this" Mac said quietly.

"Who is then huh?!" Matthew replied savagely "My mom? Lexi? My...my dad or grandpa or whoever the hell he is? Don?"

"Your mom is ill" Mac replied "Grief can do odd things to someone. I can only imagine how hard this must have been for all of you"

"Oh cut the cop talk crap!" Matthew howled "I've had a gut full!"

Mac swallowed. He wondered if either Don or Matthew realised just how alike their natures were. Self blame followed by self hatred and locking themselves away.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Mac dropped the soft tone and asked him straight.

Matthew lost his fight "I got nowhere else to go"

"You are Don Flack's son" Mac told him, opening the car door "You'll always have somewhere to go"

The ride to he hospital passed in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Matthew's centred around his reception at the hospital. Would the kids be there? How could Kate, who'd been so nice to him, how could she now fail to hate him?

Mac's thoughts were a little more organised. Underneath the terror at losing someone as close as Don threatened to choke him, but he held it at bay. He'd had plenty of practise.

He had gone from the crime scene he was attending with Hawkes straight to the precinct. He'd heard about what had happened, that Sue Moran had had some sort of breakdown and was heavily sedated on a secure psychiatric unit right now. He'd heard that Gavin Moran was being further questioned, but Matthew released. The boys earlier words about having nowhere to go had echoed Mac's own thoughts. So he'd done what he knew Don would do for him. Kate was at the hospital and their three children were being cared for by Lindsay and Jo. No one had thought of Matthew. Not that Mac thought that it was intentional.

Mac pulled into the parking space and cut the engine, looking up at the imposing building of the hospital.

"Will you ask Kate first?" Matthew said in a small voice.

"If you'd prefer" Mac said "But you still need to come in with me"

He worried the boy would bolt.

Matthew nodded and they stepped out of the car and towards the hospital together.


	16. Chapter 15

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 15

"Kate?" Mac approached the two lonely figures waiting on the hard chairs.

"Mac" she stood awkwardly, stiff from the hours spent just waiting.

"Any news?"

"They're still operating" she told him "Which means he's still alive"

Mac nodded. Don had once told him that one of the things he loved most about her was her ability to 'cut through the bullshit and say it like it is'. Much like Don himself.

"Danny just left" she offered "And Sheldon is getting coffee, he said he'll stay until after the surgery"

"Kate" Mac knew she appreciated her direct approach offer back to her, so he'd cut the BS as well "Matthew is here"

"Matthew?" she frowned, Donald senior stood, stepping forward.

"Is he hurt?" the older man asked.

"No, no" Mac held out a placating hand "I collected him from the precinct when they had finished with him"

"Oh" Kate said "Is he OK?"

"Not really" Mac sat, and his two companions followed suit "How much do you know about what happened?"

"Only what he told me on the phone" Kate answered "He called me, just as I was leaving for the airport...I thought he'd got sidetracked or something" she held the guilt firmly in place to continue "He just said that Don had been shot, that the paramedics were bringing him here. I...I didn't hear much more than that. All they will say here is that he's sustained a serious wound to the abdomen and lost a lot of blood"

"Matthew's grandmother, Sue, was the one with the gun" Mac said quietly.

"Oh my God" Kate squeezed her eyes tight. The woman had shot him for loving his son.

"She was aiming for her husband, and Matthew got in the way" Mac continued "There was a struggle..."

"And Don caught the bullet" Kate finished "Protecting Matthew"

"Yes" Mac agreed.

"Figures" she sighed "He puts his life on the line for strangers every day"

The three sat in silence. Kate had never realised the reality of the statement she'd just said, in their profession it had become almost a throw away comment. Only now she knew how much gravity that statement held, what the implications were. Despite her own near misses, it had never sunk in before that he could _die_.

He wouldn't be there at home, ever again. He would never call her grumpy, never give her those big blue eyes when he needed paperwork doing, he'd never play hide and seek trying to keep Mollie quiet again. She'd never have to yell at him for forgetting something, or being moody. DJ would never be able to give him that proud grin again when he turned up for practice unannounced. Mollie would have no arms to hide in and give her that adorably smug look from after doing something she shouldn't. Rosie had just learnt the word 'dad', she'd never have someone solid in front of her to apply it too. Matthew would never know what a wonderful father he had. He'd be _gone_, only a place in a cemetery and pictures and memories to remind her what they'd all had.

"Matthew" she said "Bring him in, he needs to be here"

"Are you sure?" Mac asked "I can take him home with me, he doesn't have anywhere else to go. Child services were going to get involved. Sue is being detained and Gavin is still being questioned"

Donald senior stepped in "He can stay with us" he spoke quietly "If he wants to, he's my grandson"

Kate nodded.

"I'm sure he will" Mac replied, standing and walking back the way he came.

…...

Before Mac could return the doors swung open from the OR and a doctor came out, he looked about twelve was Kate's first instinct.

"Are you with detective Flack?" the kid asked.

"Yes" she stood, her father in law standing with her.

"He has survived surgery" the doctor announced "And is on his way to the ICU. The bullet wound was essentially, easy to repair and should heal without issue. What is more troubling is the blood loss and the head injury"

"Head injury?" Kate frowned.

"It appears that he suffered some kind of head trauma" the kid doctor went on "And combined with the trauma from the bullet, the surgery and the blood loss, we are concerned"

"He fell onto the coffee table" all three turned to see a young and terrified boy looking at them, his eyes took up half of his face "It's...it's solid oak" Matthew finished.

"That would do it" the doctor nodded "There is a lot of swelling around the brain and there were some small bleeds. We have released the pressure and sealed the bleeds"

Kate shook her head, she had been under the impression that the bullet had been the issue. Apparently not.

"What does this mean?" she asked, trying to keep the aggression away from her voice.

"We won't know for a few days" the doctor replied "I am a neurosurgeon and I have seen people recover with injuries like this with varying degrees of success"

Donald senior noted the adjustment in Kate's posture, ever so slight, but he knew this doctor was about to be on the receiving end of a tongue lashing any minute. He held out a hand.

"Just give us the bare facts" he asked.

"Right now, he is on life support as he cannot sustain breathing himself. He has been in cardiac arrest twice due to blood loss. The swelling and bleeds on the brain, combined with the possible lack of oxygen from the cardiac arrests, may lead to permanent brain damage. We will not know how severe until the swelling subsides and we can do further tests"

"Worst case scenario?" Kate asked.

"Death" they wanted bare facts.

"And best?" she asked again.

"Full recovery"

"Likelihood of either?" Kate rapped. The doctor was pleasantly refreshed by her approach.

"At the moment, he has a 20% chance of a full recovery" the doctor waited for the screaming, the crying. There wasn't even a tear, but he could sense the stress coming away from the woman, and to a lesser degree, the others that were with her.

"So there's an 80% chance he won't recover or make it at all?" Kate asked, despite her calm demeanour, her voice shook.

The doctor nodded slowly.

"Thank you" she said "The ICU?"

"Through the doors and turn left" he told her "Follow the signs"

"Thank you" she said again, her eyes full of sincerity, the young doctor knew that he was being thanked for more than his directions.

The group stood and looked at each other, silenced. Matthew was the first to speak.

"Kate I'm so sorry" he almost whispered.

She looked at him as if she'd just noticed he was there.

_And you **should**__be fuckin'__**sorry**_**!** She raged inside her head. _It's because of **you** and your family that I am going to loose everything! He stepped in front of a bullet for you and you're **sorry**?! He saved your life!_

And with that thought she realised that of course he had, wouldn't he have done the same for any of the children, for _her_? This wasn't Matthew's fault. If it was anyone's fault it was a dead woman and her father who'd made massive errors in judgement, that had led to more and more mistakes until it drove one woman insane.

"Me too" her eyes softened slightly and she laid a hand on his arm.

Matthew gave her a small smile and she returned it.

"Where there's life" she told him, her voice shaky "There's hope"

…...


	17. Chapter 16

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 16

The week had gone so fast. Yet so slow. It was actually a week and a day since Don had been shot, and there had been several doctors, tests and conclusions. The main one being 'more time'. Don still remained unresponsive.

He'd had had more visitors in this last week than he'd had in months. People he'd not seen in a long time. Even the chief of police had called in, making noises about bravery awards and Don being 'one of the best'. Kate had tried hard not to snap that he wasn't 'one' of the best, he was _the_ best. End of story.

Kate had hardly left his bedside. Only to spend a few hours a day with her children, bringing things in for him that they'd made. Her own parents had called their house, and been shocked and horrified to be told by a solemn Danny what had happened. They had flown over immediately and taken over care of the children.

Danny had thrown himself into supporting DJ best he could, taking his godfather role seriously. They cared for the dogs between them and Danny tried hard to fill the boys days as much as he could around work.

Mollie was trying Kate's patience when she did go home from the hospital, whining about seeing her daddy. Kate refused to let them, she feared that it may be the last time they would see him, and she didn't want their last memory to be of wires and tubes and no response except for the bleeping of machines.

Kate would time her home visits to include bedtime, and after settling the older ones, curl up on her bed with Rosie until she slept. She often cried when the baby dropped off, taking comfort in the small pink cheeks and innocent face. Setting her in the cot she would shower, eat whatever her mother had prepared and leave for another night at the hospital. Sheldon had pulled a few strings and she was allowed uninhibited visiting. Her father had tried to get through to her, but he knew that until they knew one way or the other, Kate would remain like this. She hated uncertainty. She had used to just go with the flow, accept things as they happened, but she'd changed. When it mattered, she needed to know, and right now, no one did.

Sam had spent a lot of time at the hospital, the thought of losing the one constant in her life terrified her beyond words. She and Kate often sat for hours in comfortable silence save for the machines, and the faint sound of hope. Both avoiding the assault of memories that hovered.

Don's parents brought Matthew, he'd agreed to stay with them. It was that or child services. He felt immense guilt. Kate could sense it and usually went to get a coffee when he came in. Donald senior and Maria had been in every day, asking Kate repeatedly what they could do, if they could help. Her answer was always the same 'Nothing'.

…...

It was one of their visits, after greeting them all and excusing herself that Kate became aware that someone was following her along the corridor. Turning she saw Matthew.

"Everything all right?" she asked urgently.

"Yes" Matthew assured her "I...I wanted to talk to you"

"Oh, OK" Kate stood before him.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, for all this" he told the floor, wringing his hands, cracking his knuckles "I know you must hate me"

Kate watched him for a second, and then reached out a hand and placed it over his.

"Just like your dad" she smiled through her tears "Fiddling with your hands"

He met her eyes, seeing tears and grief.

"If I hadn't...If I hadn't wanted to meet him, come away with you..." his voice cracked.

"I know, none of this would have happened" she agreed "But then we can go further back, what if your mom hadn't died? What if your mom had told Don she was pregnant? What if your...Gavin had never had an affair all those years ago? What if I'd turned Don down and moved on when he asked me out? What if Don had decided that I was too much trouble the many times I threw an almighty tantrum and said I hated him and ended things? A lot of what if's Matthew, and none of them are anyone's fault, they are life"

"But if he dies..." Matthew sobbed.

"Then it won't be your fault" she comforted "I need to be mad OK? I hate this, I hate seeing him like this, and I need to be mad at someone. But it's not you. Sometimes it's me I'm mad at, for not being with him, for causing an argument before he left. And yeah, sometimes it's Sue for not saying how she felt and bottling it all up, sometimes it's Gavin, or your mom for not telling Don in the first place. And sometimes it's Don. For not being on time to collect you, for not taking his gun with him, for not being shallow enough to think about his own protection, for not being _ok_" she stopped, a sob threatening to choke her. She couldn't quite believe that after everyone had tried to get her to talk, she was finally spilling her guts to a teenager she hardly knew.

"But I'm not mad at you" she smiled "You should have seen how happy he was, that you came into his life and it just worked. He kept saying he couldn't believe it was so easy, that you might look like him, but your personality was obviously different, because he'd been, and I quote, 'A little shit' at your age. Backed up by his parents, by the way"

Matthew gave a reluctant smile.

"He loves you" she said finally "And although it was a shock, and the circumstances are all wrong, you are part of him Matthew. Out of this whole sorry mess, you are the one good thing"

Kate watched as he stood, shoulders bowed and head down. She put am arm around his shoulders.

"Come with me?" she offered "For a drink? I'd like some company. I leave to give you and his parents time alone with him, but _I'd_ like someone to sit with today"

He leaned into her embrace briefly and she felt some tension go out of him.

"I'd like that" he said quietly.

…...

An hour later and Matthew and the Flack's had left, and Kate was back in the room, reading a book.

"She won't do it" Danny folded his arms and glared at Sheldon as they stood outside the room.

"We don't know if it's definite yet" Sheldon replied in a quiet voice.

"Could you?!" Danny demanded, tears in his eyes, keeping his voice down so Kate wouldn't hear them "If that was Camille, could you?"

"I don't know" Sheldon answered "No one can until they've faced it"

"What?" both men turned as they heard Mac's voice, so in depth had they been talking, no one had heard him arrive.

Sheldon sighed as Danny turned away, fists clenched.

"There are doubts about the level of brain activity" Sheldon told Mac in a hushed tone.

"Is he brain stem dead?" Mac asked, a bald statement.

"Not as such" Sheldon replied "But the trauma was big Mac, the damage has been repaired but..."

"But what?" Mac insisted, his eyes boring into Sheldon's.

"There is very limited activity" Sheldon sighed, tears welling in his own eyes "The swelling is not subsiding, he can't survive away from the machines Mac, and there should be _some_ improvement by now. It's been over a week"

Mac ran his hand over his face "So they want Kate to turn the machines off?"

"They are doing further tests in the next 24 hours" Sheldon said "But if the results are the same then... yes"

"What are the chances of these tests being different?" Mac asked "Give me numbers Sheldon"

"About 5%" he answered sadly.

Mac took a deep breath "Then someone needs to prepare her" he decided.

"She won't" Danny replied stubbornly "Do you honestly think she can survive without him? Look at her! She hardly leaves the room! She _hates_ her mother, yet would rather let her take the children so she can be here as much as she can. It's not fair of them to expect her to make that call!"

"I know this is hard Danny" Sheldon put his hand on Danny's arm gently.

"Hard!" Danny snorted.

"You have to accept this" Mac told him "Kate and the kids are going to need us"

"Fine" Danny held the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger "You want me to talk to her?"

"No" he shook his head "Let the doctors explain it, but we'll stay"


	18. Chapter 17

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 17

The door opened and although she heard it, she ignored it.

"Mrs Flack" Kate knew that tone. It was the one any doctor, police officer or nurse used when breaking bad news.

"Yes" Kate looked up from her book and her place in the chair next to Don's bed.

"We need to discuss your husbands condition" the kindly man said "Away from here"

"Why?" she challenged "If you're going to tell me he's brain dead, then he won't know anyway. And if you're going to tell me the tests showed improvement, then there's a chance he can hear you and he needs to know that"

The doctor was slightly taken aback by her direct words. In essence she was right.

"Mrs Flack" he cautioned "It's not good news"

"Then spit it out" she snapped.

"There's been no improvement" he said "None at all"

"So what happens now?" she asked.

"We need to consider the options" the doctor said.

"And what are they?" she demanded.

"Only one that is viable" he replied sadly "To withdraw all life support. If he cannot sustain breathing himself, then..."

"You mean" Kate said "Pull the plug and see what happens?"

"Well, yes" he replied, this woman was something else.

"And if he doesn't breathe? What then?"

"Then we let nature take it's course" he told her.

"He dies" she summed up "Do not attempt resuscitation, right?"

"I assure you, if Don shows _any_ signs of attempting to sustain his own life, we will certainly help him and yes, we will resuscitate if needed. But the chance is slim. If there are _no_ signs then we will not"

Kate stared across Don's inert body and out of the window. Was she seriously being asked this question? Being asked to take away the machines that were keeping his body warm, his cheeks although hollow and pale, still had life in them?

"I'll leave you"

Kate didn't hear him. She was replaying a conversation that had occurred over a decade before.

_He'd groaned in pleasure as Kate released the tension in his shoulders "Oh you're good at that"_

"_I know" she said smugly "Though you should be massaging my shoulders"_

"_I offered" he said lazily "But you say I'm too rough"_

"_You are" she replied "You practically break my bones!"_

_He sighed "Can I ask you somethin'?"_

"_Yeah" _

"_If something happened to me, like I was ill or something, or on life support, would you ya know, turn it off?" he asked._

"_Wow" she said, surprised "Wasn't expecting that"_

"_Sorry" he said "But would you?"_

"_For the next month" she said "It's your mothers call, not mine"_

"_She'd ask you" he replied "You know she would"_

"_Would you want me to?" she countered._

"_I don't know" he mused "If there was no hope, then yeah, I guess so"_

"_Then that's what I'd do" she said "Maybe I'd unplug the machine and plug it back in, ya know, see if that rebooted you"_

_He laughed "Might work"_

"_What brought this on?" she asked._

_He ignored her "Would you want me to?" he pressed "Pull the plug? If there was no hope"_

"_Yeah" she said "I don't wanna be hanging around cramping your style"_

_He stilled her hands, pulling them onto his chest and holding them there, turning her wrists to face him. For all she was tough and strong, he could see the small jump of her pulse under the pale skin, the fragile veins criss crossing her wrists._

"_I can't imagine..." he stopped._

"_What?" she probed "What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing" he smiled "Come on, you only got an hour before you need to leave for work again. I'm not liking these shifts"_

Kate realised she was alone, and she looked at Don. It was what he'd wanted, for her to make this decision. But she couldn't do it alone, there were other people he mattered to. She collected her things and took a last look at him.

Stepping into the corridor she faced his three friends, the ones he'd worked with the longest.

"I take it you know" she asked.

"Yes" Mac said quietly.

"Is there anything you need Kate?" Sheldon asked kindly.

"Stay here until I get back" she asked "Have a guys afternoon, put a game on, laugh, tell rude jokes, eat junk food"

"We will" Danny went to hug her, but he stopped. Fearing one or both of them may break down.

"Thank you" she said, leaving them and heading away. Suddenly she stopped and turned, giving them a smile.

"You guys gets him drunk" she said "I'll kill you"

Mac laughed "We'll go steady" he promised. He realised that she just wanted to pretend, in the face of this massive decision, that everything was normal, just for a minute. He knew that feeling.

…...

"Are you sure Kate?" Danny asked.

"Yes" she replied.

He nodded, he knew that she'd left was to go home and discuss things with his parents, brother and sister. They had agreed. It had been hard to stand outside and watch them all say their goodbyes, watch them leave with bowed heads. All felt that they would rather not be there, any would have stayed if Kate wanted them to, and she would have let them had they wanted to. But she said that she wouldn't forgive herself if they only stayed for her, that she wanted them to make their own choice, that she could be alone with Don.

"It's his last chance" Kate said suddenly "I researched cases like this, they'll take it to court and the choice will be taken for me, if I insist that they keep the machines on. So it's going to happen anyway. This way at least I am fulfilling his wishes"

"He wanted you to do this?" Danny asked.

"Yes" she replied "We discussed it, a long time ago and it's what we both wanted, should it happen to either of us"

Danny looked at the floor.

There was a tap on the door and a doctor and a nurse entered.

"Are you ready?" the doctor asked quietly.

Kate nodded.

_How the fuck can I ever be ready?_ She raged inside.

"I'll be outside if you need me" Danny said as he left. Kate squeezed his hand gratefully.

The doctor and nurse took their places and Kate leaned over Don, stroking his hair and whispering in his ear. She then shut her eyes.

Opening them she looked at the doctor and he pressed a button.

Silence filled the room as the machines powered down.

…...


	19. Chapter 18

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 18

Don frowned as he heard a whisper, close by, then he smiled. A voice he knew, far away but she was there, and she wasn't pulling any punches.

"You better breathe Batman" he heard her hiss "Or I'm gonna kick your sorry ass from one side a the afterlife to the other when I get there"

_Breathe_? He thought, that didn't seem so much to ask.

He tried to laugh, to see her face but he couldn't. There was silence again all around him, and he was confused. Where had Kate gone?

_You don't believe in the afterlife_ his mind told her _You always said it's bull shit_.

_Just shut up and do as you're told_ he heard back _For once in your life, just don't argue!_ _And believe me, I'll find a way!_

He wanted to laugh again, he had no idea what was going on, but breathe? Sure he could. Stupid woman his wife was sometimes.

…...

Kate reflected on the past week. The week since she'd agreed to turn off Don's life support.

The first few minutes had been the worst of her life as she stood over him, daring him to defy her. Then just as she had felt her world started to implode the nurse had darted forward, checking the silenced monitors.

Kate was angry with herself, watching the medical staff confirming that he was dying in front of her, when she should be holding his hand, telling him how much she loved him, how, although she didn't _know_ how, she'd drag herself through this for their children, and for him. But she couldn't move, she was rooted to the spot.

"Yes" she heard the doctor mutter in reply to a whisper from the nurse, and then he pressed a switch, a beeping noise started and as the monitor sprung to life again, what should have been a flat line wasn't. Kate stared at it.

"He has a heartbeat" the nurse said.

Kate swallowed "What does that mean?"

"He's holding his own right now" the doctor said.

Kate slumped into the chair.

"It may not last" the nurse warned, Kate hadn't noticed her move to stand beside the chair.

"Is this normal?" she choked out, now she couldn't take her eyes away from Don.

"It's rare" the doctor replied "If...If someone doesn't have the capacity to breathe alone then usually they don't at all, not even for a short time. It's a good sign, the rhythm of the respirations and pulse are good, considering"

Kate stood again "So...?"

"The next hour is crucial" the doctor said "You should stay at least for 24, but with each hour that passes, the chance gets stronger"

She looked at the doctor "You don't know do you?" it was a statement.

"Not really" he admitted "Sometimes life has a will of it's own, it's just wait and see"

Kate stepped back and tapped on the window. Immediately the door opened and Danny came in, head bowed.

"He's breathing" Kate told him quietly.

"Damn it Flack" Danny put his hand over his face "I'm gonna kick your ass for you when you wake up"

"It's early days" the doctor warned "He may not be strong enough to sustain it"

Danny nodded and the doctor and nurse stepped around him and left.

Don floundered as he heard Danny's voice, everything was weird, he felt as if he were dreaming, but knew he wasn't. The one thing he wondered though as his mind fogged again, was why everyone wanted to kick his ass?!

…...

After 4 days all the machines had been removed as Don got stronger, Kate had suggested removing the feeding tube too. Telling the staff there were only two things he'd wake up for, food being one of them, and she wasn't prepared to do the other in a hospital room, no matter what the circumstances.

At this point she had felt secure enough to leave for longer periods of time and see the children more. She still wouldn't allow them to see Don, she felt it would scare them to see him how he was, it scared the hell out of her. But she took their drawings and cards and put them up in the room. Talking to him all the time about them. She had made an exception in Matthew's case as he was older, and distraught. Kate felt desperately sorry for him, but right now she didn't have enough strength to go around. And Matthew had spent a lot of time with Don's father, they had become close over the past dark weeks.

She had panicked again when she got a call from the hospital. She was in fact on her way back when it came through.

Arriving at the room she was kept firmly outside by Lindsay, Kate hadn't needed to ask his friends and family to make sure when she wasn't there, he wasn't alone, they had stepped up.

Lindsay told her that Don had woken, not completely but had become vaguely conscious but that's all she knew right now. She'd been furious when the doctor finally came out and told her that indeed Don had woken, but they had needed to sedate him again, he hadn't been fully conscious and had become agitated as coma patients sometimes did.

"So he wakes up and you knock him out again?!" she'd demanded "Great idea, why not just leave him like that huh? He's bound to be agitated! Wake him up, now, while I'm here. He'll be fine"

She hadn't liked the answer that he could cause more damage to himself by coming from a deep coma so quickly. But she had accepted that they had sedated him, and would gradually decrease the sedation as it was safer to come out of the coma in degrees.

And that was where they were now. The sedation was finished but Don didn't wake. The tests had shown more and more brain activity, but there was no way of knowing how much actual function he had until he woke up. At least they knew he could move.

…...

Don felt sunlight on his face, weak but there and opened his eyes towards it. Judging the skyline it was still early.

He felt less confused and disorientated than he had. He could remember snatches of things. Danny giving a commentary on a game, his father reading the paper out loud, his mother preying. He gave a little smile as he remembered Kate's words, not sure from where from. He knew that she had been always around. Talking to him, and he felt a twinge of guilt as he realised that he had done what he did at home, and let most of it wash over him without truly listening. He remembered something she'd said though.

"You need to get your lazy ass out that bed Flack" she'd grumbled "They're gonna make me start goin' home soon at night, and I don't want to. Just wake up, for God's sake"

The first half of the sentence had amused him, the second half had confused and saddened him. He _wanted_ to turn and look at her, tell her to stop moaning and go do something useful, but he couldn't. The desperation in her voice at her last words had tormented him, until he woke, just now.

He turned his head and saw her in the chair, he coughed involuntarily, and her eyes flew open. He watched as all the emotions went across her face, savouring the moment because usually, she hid them so well.

"Hey" she smiled, trying to get herself under control "Finally" her voice was steady but even with blurry vision he could see the tears in her eyes.

He smiled at her, weakly, his face felt like rubber "Afterlife?" he asked, or tried to, it was more a strangled whisper.

He coughed some more and repeated it, still in a whisper but slightly stronger.

"Oh shut up" she replied crossly in a whisper of her own, burying her face in her hands, trying to get a hold on herself.

Don moved an arm that felt like a dead weight, slowly he inched it towards her, managing to brush the top of her head with his fingertips.

"Krazy Kate" he said, his voice a little stronger.

She reached out a hand and grabbed his, finally getting herself under control.

"I better get the doctor" she said finally, looking at him.

"Not yet" he said "Just a minute"

"What?" she leaned closer so he wouldn't have to try and speak louder.

"Jus' want a minute alone with my girl" he grinned slightly, the eyes she'd missed so much in the last 13 days glinted with amusement.

Kate let out a low groan and laid her head on the bed as he laughed a slow and tired laugh, he placed a clumsy hand on her head and lay there, smiling. He didn't know who or what to thank right now for this moment, so he offered a silent one to anyone who was listening.


	20. Chapter 19

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 19

Don looked up groggily as there was a tap on the door. He blinked a few times and finally made the figure out.

"Matthew" he said, a small smile forming on his dry lips.

"Hi" was his reply, Matthew was unsure of his reception, despite many hours of 'counselling' from both Mac and Donald senior. He'd chewed over the events a million times, and he understood what everyone told him, that _he_ wasn't to blame. Yet a nagging doubt lingered, that he should have confronted Sue's withdrawal head on rather than sticking his head in the sand and ignoring it.

"Hey, come in" Don said, struggling to sit up.

"I..." Matthew frowned "You need some help?"

Don shook his head, but it was painfully obvious he did. Matthew moved the pillows for him as Don fought with his lethargic body to move the few more inches up the bed. He flopped down on them exhausted.

"I'm sorry, you need to rest" Matthew backed away "I'll go"

"You dare" Don warned in a harsh whisper. It shocked them both, it was the first time Don had come anywhere near discipline of any kind since they had met.

"Sit down" Don ordered "We need to talk"

Matthew did as he was bid in stilted movements. He'd seen Don like this, with the other children, but never directed at him. He also knew 'the tone' from personal experience of Donald senior. There had been few cross words while Matthew stayed with his new grandparents, Maria tending to overlook the messes he left about and the loud music, making excuses. His grandfather wasn't so forgiving and had spoken to him about it. Telling him that it was understandable that he was upset and disorientated, but he still needed to show basic manners and respect for others.

"I'm sorry" Matthew tried, he was desperate to hang on to what relationship they'd had, but a new thought crept into his brain, that even though no one else blamed him for this, maybe Don himself did?

"I'm not mad about what happened" Don stated baldly "It wasn't your fault, Sue was...unstable and I should have realised what this would do to her so soon after losin'... your mom. What I _am_ mad about is the fact that you didn't tell me. You told Mac that you knew she wasn't happy about things, and you didn't come to me so we could sort it out" the small speech had tired him out slightly and he allowed himself a few moments to recover.

"I didn't think it mattered" Matthew replied "I thought she'd get over it and we'd all be OK"

"Other people's feelings _always_ matter" Don replied sharply "The end result, that's in no way your responsibility, because if the same thing happened again, I'd react in the same way, I'd stop you from getting too close to that gun"

"You shouldn't have" Matthew almost sobbed.

"Yes I should" Don replied firmly "I'm your dad, that's my job, to protect you"

Matthew nodded and Don continued.

"You should have talked to me"

"I was scared that it'd mess everything up" the boy admitted.

"You listen to me" Don turned towards him, his eyes fierce with emotion "There is _nothing_ that you can't tell me. _Nothing_ that will make me ashamed of you or make me turn away from you. You don't need to carry stuff like that around by yourself, trust me, I've done it, and it'll screw your head up so you can't see straight. You got that?"

Matthew nodded again.

"I mean it OK?" Don pressed "You don't bottle things like that up. No matter how bad you think they are. The outcome may well have been no different, there was always going to be fall out from this, but that is not your fault, and it's not for you to think you have to make things better by yourself"

"I get it" Matthew replied "I'm sorry"

"And _stop_ sayin' sorry!" Don said, but the humour was back in his voice "Or I'll kick your ass when I get out this bed"

Matthew gave a shy smile, he was so confused by everything that had happened, but some of his guilt was relieved by this conversation. He appreciated Don's direct approach, he felt more secure.

"So, father son talk over" Don grinned at him "How's my folks? They been in but you know my mom, all tears and hugs, and food"

"They've been great" Matthew said with sincerity "I really appreciate them taking me in"

"Taking you in" Don snorted in disbelief "My mom would have kidnapped you if you'd said no, she hugged you to death yet?"

"She tried" Matthew pulled a face "Pops keeps tellin' her to stop smotherin' me"

Don laughed again "Pops huh?"

Matthew shrugged self consciously with a smile "He's great"

"He is" Don agreed "You seen your other grandparents?"

"Yes" Immediately Matthew's face fell.

"How are they doin'?" Don asked quietly.

"Grandpa is...well he says he's gonna move closer to the city to be near mom" Matthew answered "They say she'll be in hospital for the rest of her life, for what she did"

"I don't think for a minute she meant to do what she did" Don told him "She can recover, it'll take time, but she can"

"I hope so" Matthew said in a small voice "I miss her"

"That's understandable" Don nodded, he had let go of any ill feeling he felt to Sue, Gavin though was another matter. In a way, Sue was right, this _was_ mostly down to him. But Don would deal with that when he was stronger, right now he wanted to make sure Matthew understood his place in Don's life, and was happy with it. Judging by the name shifts that had occurred while he was unconscious, Don thought things were moving in the right direction.

Matthew stood "I gotta go" he said with regret "I promised DJ that I'd go watch hockey practise"

Don smiled "Kate's bringing them in this afternoon. I can't wait, you comin' back?"

"Goin' to see my mom" Matthew told him, his face averted.

"Well, tomorrow then?" Don asked "There's a game on, I'll speak to Kate, DJ can come too, and Danny, guys night. Sneak some decent food in huh?"

Matthew smiled with conspiracy as he opened the door "Sure thing"

"Tomorrow then" Don nodded.

"Bye" Matthew said "Dad"

He left Don with a ridiculous smile on his face.

…...

"Hello baby girl" Don beamed as Mollie clambered up onto the bed.

"Hello daddy" she grinned back, crawling her way straight onto his lap "Mommy told the silly man in the van to f..."

"That's enough!" Kate stopped her with a wry grin in his direction.

"Road rage?" he asked.

She nodded with a smile, sitting in the chair with Rosie as DJ sidled up to the bed. It was the first time they'd seen him in almost three weeks.

"Hey son" Don held a hand out and DJ grabbed it "How you doin'? Lookin' after your mom an' your sisters for me?"

"Yeah" DJ replied "And Matthew, Mollie listens to him"

"Well at least she listens to someone" Don chuckled "You been to school?"

"Uh-huh" the boy nodded "It's been OK, you know...sometimes..."

Don laughed "I'm sorry we missed our vacation"

"Don't matter" DJ said, overshadowed by Mollie sticking her face in Don's.

"Can we go now you're better?" she pleaded.

"I don't know..." Don directed a look at Kate.

"The insurance paid out" she said "Apparently getting shot is on their list"

"Then as soon as I'm properly better, yes we can" he promised.

"Good, I want to see Mickey" she sighed, cuddling closer.

Don laughed and laid his head on hers "Me too"

"I missed you daddy" she yawned.

"Missed you too" he replied, looking at Kate "All of you"

She looked away and there was a few moments silence. Kate swallowed several times.

_Seriously need to get that prescription filled_ she thought _Can't be doing with these tears all the time again_.

"Dad!" Rosie crowed, losing interest in Kate's keys, dropping them and pointing to Don.

"Yes" Mollie glowered at her "_My_ dad!"

"And mine" DJ said sulkily.

"Hey" Don said "Don't start, there's enough to go around!"

He shuffled over and DJ sat on the edge of the bed next to him, Kate put Rosie on the small bit of free space on his lap.

"Thank you" he grinned at her.

She smiled back, she knew what for. Since the day he'd opened his eyes he'd wanted to see the kids.

"No room for me on there though" she sighed dramatically.

He laughed and winked at her "Stop moanin' there'll be room enough for you when I come home, trust me"


	21. Chapter 20

**History repeating – Part II**

Chapter 20 – 6 months later.

"So ya have fun kids?" Don turned around from his place in the passenger seat to grin at them.

"Great" Matthew and DJ said in unison, both exhausted and sitting further back in the large new car, while Mollie eyed her father with disgust and Rosie waved and laughed at him, babbling baby nonsense.

Kate checked them through the rear mirror and smiled to herself as she saw Mollie's sulky face.

"I wanted to go on the aeroplane" she sulked.

"Well, daddy can't fly" Kate cut in.

"I got it" he muttered, turning back to the front and giving Kate a wounded look, she laughed at him.

"I'm just stepping in before you promise to buy her an aeroplane" she said with a smirk.

Don glared through the side mirror, in an attempt to hide his amusement. Kate shook her head.

"And you wonder where she gets it from" she sighed dramatically.

"Oh shhh woman" he sulked theatrically and then laughed "Was a fun vacation though"

"Yes it was" she turned her head slightly to smile at him as silence reigned from sleeping children in the back.

"Road!" he commanded severely.

"You _hate_ it when I drive don't you?" she asked him.

"No" he shifted uncomfortably "It's when you don't look at the road I get nervous"

"Well suck it up, buttercup" Kate laughed "Because the hospital only said you could come on this vacation _if_ you took it easy, and _if_ you didn't drive long distances, and _if_ you didn't fly"

"I don't know why" he huffed "I'm fine"

She leaned over and patted his thigh "And I want you to stay that way"

Don smiled and thought about the past 6 months, since the day he had woken up on an ICU unit to today, the day they headed home after the long awaited and much anticipated vacation that had almost been scuppered.

It had been a slow recovery, much to his frustration. He'd initially been touched by all the help and support, especially from Kate and Danny. Danny had used his own insight into Don's condition to help, and it had worked. Kate had put up with so much from him too.

He'd sunk into depression when things had returned somewhat to normal. Feeling left out and sidelined as the after effects of the head injury kept him at home, alone, most of the time, while the world got on without him. He remembered the day Kate had removed every trace of alcohol from the house, throwing a razor and a bottle of shower gel at him and telling him it was that, or she'd tell the doctors what he was _really_ like, and let them do what they wanted.

He'd raged and slammed about and then slowly, the dark cloud had lifted and he'd put more effort into speeding his recovery than wallowing in self pity.

He was however, waiting for the fall out from Kate. She'd been running on fumes since the day he'd been shot and she was tense, but hiding it. He knew it would happen.

The children had settled into the new routine after some teething problems, but it irked him that he wasn't even 'allowed' to care for Rosie all day by himself, due to the blackouts that had been with him for a month or so. They had faded slowly and he found himself gradually thrust into the role of house husband. He couldn't wait to get back to work.

"You OK?" Kate asked quietly.

"Yeah" he smiled "Jus' thinkin'"

"Careful" she warned with a smirk.

…...

Two weeks later Don sat before the doctor that had cared for him during and after his stay in hospital. He had his best 'bored' face on, but his mind worked over time. He'd sat and listened to Kate and the doctor chat, it seemed odd to him that although this guy had seen more of his insides than he'd like, he knew Kate so much better than he did Don himself.

"So Don" the doctor turned to him "How have you been?"

"Fine" Don replied, boredom resonating through his tone "No black outs, no tremors in my hands and arms and no bad dreams. Can I go back to my life now?"

"You've done exceptionally well" the doctor nodded.

"For someone you gave no hope to?" Don finished with his usual sarcasm. He ignored the warning look from Kate.

They'd discussed this, the guilt that hung heavily on Kate for agreeing to turn the machines off when as had been proved, there _was_ hope for him. That discussion had been the catalyst for Kate, she'd almost lost it completely when he'd told her that he would have done the same, in the same circumstances, and that guilt had no place here. He had been furious at the medical staff for putting her in that position, but overall he was just glad to be alive. She'd shut herself away from him while she came to terms with everything, and for once, he'd let her. It had worked, slowly they were talking about things and they were getting back onto an even keel again.

"Like I told Kate" the doctor remained calm "Life sometimes has a will of it's own"

Don looked over the doctors shoulder at the skyline he'd seen when he first opened his eyes and sighed. They were moving _forward_ now, and things though not perfect, were going in the right direction.

"So what now?" Don asked.

"I see no reason why you should not return to work, and everything you enjoyed before that" the doctor beamed at him "Restricted duties for a month or so though"

"Ridin' a desk?" Don frowned "Sorry, not my thing"

"I'm not happy to sign you off fully until you've had a staggered return to your usual activities" the doctor warned.

Don huffed.

"Just take it" Kate said "You can play the hero at the precinct for a month"

Don gave her a sideways look and raised his eyebrows.

"And it'll get you out the house" she added "Because you are driving me _nuts_!"

"Fine" Don said, taking the letter from the doctor to give to the department doctor that he would have to see before he could return to work in any shape or form.

"I'll see you in a month" the doctor beamed, standing and showing them out.

"I dunno why they're bein' so stubborn about it" Don remarked as they left.

Kate suddenly stopped and faced him, and he fought the urge to back up a little, concerned that she was going to launch a tirade at him. She didn't.

She suddenly threw her arms around his neck, laughing and kissed him.

"I love you" she said.

He laughed too, catching her waist "I love you too" he replied "What was that for?"

"Because I can" she said simply and kissed him again before releasing him, turning and taking his hand, pulling him towards the exit.

"Come on, lets round all the kids up and go to central park, play games and eat junk food" she said happily.

"You're on" he grinned back.

He looked up again at the skyline as they left and smiled to himself before grabbing the car keys from Kate and diving in the car, grinning smugly, before she could protest.

…...

_Thanks to all readers, followers, reviewers and those who have favourited :) and just the epilogue to go now and I'm done! Wow – long road this one with a mind of it's own!_


	22. Epilogue

**History repeating – Part II**

**Epilogue – 4 years later.**

Don looked around the large table that his family and close friends inhabited. The remains of the meal littered the table, a meal that had been organised in aid of Matthew's graduation from high school. The tradition had started with Ellie Danville, and continued with Matthew. It still shook Don a little that he had the 2nd eldest child of his counterparts, and Lucy Messer was only a year behind.

He looked at Lucy, when she'd been born he'd been with Jess, and life had been completely different. The girl's, almost a woman now, first year had been a dark one for all of them. Losing Angell, Danny fighting to regain his mobility, but together they had got through it, and a lot more since. Almost losing Mac, and then Kate, and then him, the revelation that he had another child. But they were all here, had all come through to the other side smiling.

He put a lazy arm around Kate and she paused in her conversation with Lindsay to squeeze his fingers. He half listened to the various chatter around the table. Meeting Matthew's eyes with a smile as the young man coloured slightly having been 'caught' chatting animatedly to Lucy.

Matthew stood and navigated his way around the table, pausing to speak briefly to Sheldon, Mac, Donald senior, Sid and Danny who stood with him, until Don was beckoned from his seat to go with them.

Arriving last at the bar, Don put his hand on Matthew's shoulder.

"OK son?" he asked.

"I got somethin' to tell you" Matthew said, Don looked from Matthew, to Mac, then Sheldon, Danny, Sid and finally his father. All grinned back at him, for a second Don was concerned at the lines on Donald seniors face, he realised his father was starting to look his age. Having a teenager in the house couldn't be helping but Matthew and his parents had fallen into an easy routine together, and so he stayed with them.

"Go on then" Don prompted, he hated suspense, he got enough of that at work.

"I've been accepted to med school" Matthew said "I'm going to train as an ME, I am being sponsored by the police department"

"That's great!" Don hugged his son "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise" Matthew answered "And in case I didn't get in"

"Come off it" Don ruffled the kids hair "You got your mothers brains and my good looks, you'd get in one way or the other"

The group laughed and Don looked at them "And I suppose you lot knew?" he challenged.

Sheldon stepped up "We gave recommendations" he said "Sid and I to med school, Mac and Danny to the department"

"Well thank you" Don nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"We have to train the next generation" Mac said with a smile "I hear Lucy is getting some work experience in the lab, and Ellie is on her way to being a fine DA"

"Lucy is hell bent on being a forensic scientist" Danny said, excitement evident "An' DJ's racing through the ranks at cadets no?"

"He is" Don nodded in agreement "But I think Mollie's the career cop, and Rosie? Still wants to be a princess"

Again, they laughed "Takes after her old man then" Danny clapped Don on the shoulder.

"You sure it was a wise idea lettin' this guy speak for you?" Don asked Matthew with a grin "He's not that articulate you know"

"Shut up" Danny laughed.

They returned to the table, and once again, Don sat back and watched.

He loved his life right now, as hectic and loud as it was, he wouldn't change it for anything.

…...

**THE END**

…...

_A huge thank you to everyone who has supported me through this – I very much appreciate you time and effort in reading and reviewing. _


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